Okay, people are now living their lives by ripping off The Simpsons... and I thought I was obsessed...

I finally got through all of the I Love the 80s Strikes Back I had saved on my DVR... they really dropped the ball on a lot of things. They failed to mention:
My Two Dads - The debut of Giovanni Ribisi, the appearance of The Monkees' Davy Jones (singing the awful song "Oh Nicole"), and the stellar acting of former football player Dick Butkus.
Charles in Charge - The original family the Pembrokes.
Bo Jackson - His unstoppable character on Nintendo's Techmo Super Bowl.
Growing Pains - The appearances of before-they-were-stars Leonardo DiCaprio, Matthew Perry, and Brad Pitt (who made 2 non-consecutive appearances as different characters).
Sloppy, to say the least.

Hope everyone enjoys their New Year festivities... I'll be back in 2004!

Back at work after a nice 5-day layoff... hope everyone enjoyed the holidays.

"There was doo doo - feces - thrown all over the walls, the floor, the ceiling."
Michael Jackson, describing the men's room he says police locked him in
I didn't actually watch the 60 Minutes interview last night, but this quote kills me. How old is he? Like 45? And he still says "doo doo?" If he ever wants to plead insanity, all his lawyers would have to do is show this clip from the interview, and he'd be off the hook.

Speaking of doo doo, have you heard the novelty song "I Farted on Santa's Lap?" One of the worst novelty Christmas songs ever. Makes me long for the days of "Jingle Bells" by the barking dogs. Oh, and am I the only one who's depressed that it'll be at least 11 months until I hear "Do They Know It's Christmas" on the radio again? So freakin' catchy...

Saw Big Fish and Cold Mountain and ate at Ollie's for Jewish Christmas... all 3 were good but somewhat of a disappointment. My expectations are always too high. And Ollie's has the strangest system for their waiting list. They give out numbers, but they distribute them all out of order. My friend and I were 100... before me was 58, then 76, 81, 27... to ensure that this system works, they must be much smarter than me, or much much dumber.

Made a mix for my friend Tommy... the following is a track list, with selected liner notes:

1) “Happy Together” – The Turtles: Tommy and I have had conversations about the greatest pop song. He says it’s “California Dreamin’,” I say it’s this. Such a simple concept, simple structure, simple lyrics, but the chorus explodes, and I catch deeper layers of instrumentation with each listen. Plus, it just makes me smile.
2) “You Don’t Have To Mean It” – The Rolling Stones: I may be crazy, since my favorite Stones song is from the 90s and sung by Keith Richards. This also sounds nothing like typical Stones. But I love the calypso feel of it, and Keith’s voice sounds surprisingly sweet; Mick couldn’t pull off a song like this.
3) “Down the Road” – Mickey Hart
4) “Life on Mars” – David Bowie
5) “Tears in the Morning – The Beach Boys
6) “Eli’s Coming” – Three Dog Night
7) “Can’t Cry These Tears” – Garbage
8) “Something About You” – Level 42
9) “At My Most Beautiful” – REM: Another dulcet love song with great harmonies and orchestration. It’s like Michael Stipe’s best attempt to mirror the music of Pet Sounds. And he came close.
10) “Father & Son” – Cat Stevens: This song constantly sits in the shadow of “Cat’s in the Cradle,” but I think it’s far superior. The last verse is heartbreaking, with the son singing about leaving as the father cries out “Stay” in the background.
11) “Impossible” – Charlatans UK
12) “Please Please Let Me Get What I Want (Instrumental)” – Dream Academy: For the longest time, I didn’t know this song had lyrics. Then I didn’t know it was a cover. Having learned all of this, I still think this is the best version. It manages to convey all the necessary emotion without words. Or maybe I just keep picturing Cameron in the Art Institute of Chicago. Either way…
13) “Time” – Pink Floyd: Am I too young for these words to have such a strong effect on me? Probably… damn this Peter Pan syndrome!
14) “Don’t Change Your Plans” – Ben Folds Five
15) “Wonderful” – Stone Temple Pilots: Although they started out as rockers, STP was great at writing ballads. I love the line “You’re the wonder in everything that’s wonderful.”
16) “Obsession” – Animotion
17) “Labour of Love” – Frente
18) “My Way” – Elvis Presley: Beyond the pelvis, the acting, the army, the “fat vs. thin” argument… Elvis simply had the best male voice in rock history. This cover proves it.
19) “Money” – Zebrahead: Zebrahead is not a great band by any stretch of the imagination, but they write catchy songs with clever lyrics and don’t take themselves too seriously. Additional points for the GnR reference at the end.

Last night I watched the DVD of Roger Waters performing "The Wall" live in Berlin in 1990, 8 months after the fall of the Berlin Wall. The sheer size and spectacle of the show boggles the mind. I think it was 400,000 people in the audience, a cast of hundreds, a symphony conducted by Michael Kamen (who also led for Metallica's "S&M" shows), and guest appearances by Cyndi Lauper ("Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2"), Bryan Adams ("Young Lust"), Joni Mitchell ("Goodbye Blue Sky"), Paul Carrack ("Hey You"), Van Morrison ("Comfortably Numb"), Sinead O'Conner ("Mother"), and appearances by The Band, The Scorpions, Albert Finney, Jerry Hall, Thomas Dolby, Marianne Faithful, Tim Curry, and some others I'm sure I'm forgetting. The show included the construction of a wall that I think they said was 35x100 meters, although the staging was somewhat bizarre... almost half an hour of the concert took place behind the fully-constructed wall, and though cameras were behind it to show the band on the DVD, I'm sure it pissed the hell out of the live audience. The documentary was amusing too, as Roger and company talked about how the power cut out twice during "Mother," causing Sinead to panic (I noticed that while watching the show... she looks totally uncomfortable when she's singing), and they rip on her for her lack of professionalism. Check it out if you're a big Floyd fan, although it certainly doesn't compare to listening to the original CD.

Wow, Edward Scissorhands has really let himself go...

I've done it! One of the greatest upsets in the history of fantasy football! My mediocre 9-5 Brian GrieseMonkeys ripped the heart out of the mighty 12-2 Charlie Batchelors to win the Super Bowl in my fantasy football league. The game was a blowout of epic proportions. This not only makes up for his regular-season sweep against me, but also eases the pain of his cruising through my fantasy baseball league earlier this year. His evil reign of terror is over! Happy Hanukkah indeed!

I spent yesterday evening at a sports bar with the Batchelors coach and another guy from our league. I was the first to get there, and arrived just in time to hear the cheers erupting from inside in response to the Saints' improbably triple-lateral TD with time expired. A crazier play, I've never seen. And yet as John Carney, one of the most dependable kickers of my generation, shanked the extra point, I couldn't help but smile. I love seeing emotions turn on a dime like that. Which is probably why I'll be going to Hell. I'm sure Carney will be there waiting for me... he's a dead man if he ever sets foot in New Orleans again. Steve Barman who? (Oh, and anyone who would pay $106,000 for that ball is insane... INSANE!)

From IMDB.com today:

Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey Plan Duets Album
Celebrity couple Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey are planning to record a duets album next year. But Irresistible singer Jessica - who stars alongside her husband in TV hit Newlyweds: Nick And Jessica - is keen to avoid a "cheesy" album. She says, "We're talking about remaking great seventies, eighties hits. Definitely a romantic album. We wouldn't want it to be cheesy. So we'd have to spend a while and pick the right material. We're not going to do 'I Got You Babe,' because that's what people's 'clever ideas' are. 'Oh, you should do Sonny And Cher.' We're just like, 'No, if we're going to do something together, it has to be clever.' We want to remake some stuff and also do original stuff."

In related news, with 12 days left in 2003, "Last Stop: This Town" boldly names Nick & Jessica's classic CD of duets the Worst Album of 2004.

My time at my job is running short... only 4 more working days. I should make a list of all the things I will miss about it. But instead, I think I'll list all the things that bother me about it... so here goes...
1) Working in Times Square. Tourists coming to Manhattan (and especially into Times Square) should be tutored on how to walk. Simple rules such as: walk quickly; at crosswalks, all signals mean "go;" if in a group, walk single file instead of side-by-side so you don't take up the entire sidewalk; stay the hell out of my way.
2) The girls in my pit. You have to be here to understand.
3) That Gamecube commercial with the guy dressed as Link from "Zelda" standing on the sidewalk and screaming. It's awful the first time... when MTV plays it during EVERY COMMERCIAL BREAK, I feel like starting a conversation with my pitmates just to distract me from it.
4) The fact that I can't wear my Skidz to work without being the subject of ridicule.
5) The crappy music. People may complain that MTV never shows videos anymore, but those people don't hear Clay Aiken's "Invisible" 8 times before noon. Personally, I'd rather he be mute than invisible.
I'm gonna miss this place... sigh...

The Olsen twins are going to NYU... let my stalking begin...

Tommy sent me to this site... I scored 59.66184% - Mega Music Nerd. Not as high as I had expected, but decent considering my age. He scored 77.53623% - Hardcore Music Nerd. I bow down to him.

I'll start off with my thoughts on the 2004 Golden Globe nominations. I haven't seen a bunch of major movies yet (Cold Mountain, the new Lord of the Rings, Big Fish, Last Samurai), so I can't give completely educated responses. However...
- 21 Grams should've been nominated for Best Drama, and Benicio Del Toro, who is sooooooooo good in it, should've gotten a Supporting Actor nod.
- Jeff Bridges was more deserving of a nomination in Seabiscuit than William H. Macy.
- I'm fairly sure City of God is eligible in all categories other than Best Foreign Film (I know it is for the Oscars), so it should've gotten a nom for Best Picture.
- Maria Bello was okay in The Cooler, but certainly not as good as Alison Lohman in Matchstick Men. Impossible to believe that she's actually 24 years old!
- On that note, why do the women only get 5 Supporting Actress in a Film nominations while the men get 6? With the extra slot, Lohman could've gotten in, or Catherine O'Hara from A Mighty Wind. Eugene Levy should've gotten one for that movie too.
- Hurray for Best TV Comedy nominations for The Office and Arrested Development! I'll be so excited if either of them win, but I'm rooting for The Office.
- What is everyone's continuing obsession with Megan Mullally and (particularly) Sean Hayes from Will & Grace? They are two of the most annoying characters on tv!
I'll give better predictions / opinions on the eve of the awards.

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Finally, I'm really pissed I didn't go to David Bowie's concert at MSG Monday night. The Times, Post, Daily News, and Daily Variety all raved about it. At least I can say I didn't provide any money to Macy "No Talent Crack-Fiend" Gray. Regardless, I'm glad Bowie is still doing so well, and hopefully I'll catch him the next time he comes around.

Update: Believe it or not, UPS still sucks. My package was not delivered to my office yesterday. Nor was it delivered to my apartment. I tracked the shipment this morning, and it said a delivery attempt was made yesterday. Odd, since our mailroom is open all day. So I check the delivery address to make sure they changed it. Not only is my work address not there, but now they have my incorrect home address! I have just called them to again give my work address. New delivery date: Thursday (tomorrow). Will it be here tomorrow? I'd be tempted to put more money on From Justin To Kelly sweeping the Oscars. Well, maybe not.

Speaking of bad movies, I saw a doozy last night. A sneak preview of The Prince and Me, starring Julia Stiles. In this unique tale, a prince travels to the "heartland of America" to experience real life and meets a girl who doesn't know he's a prince. They fall in love, but when she finds out the truth... there's trouble! Oh man, does this movie blow. Blow blow blow! They should've made it The Artist Formerly Known as Prince and Me, about a midget named Prince who dresses in purple. He goes to the "heartland of America" but changes his name to a symbol so people don't know who he is. He falls in love with a girl, but when she finds out the truth... there's trouble! Now that's a movie.

Time once again for our favorite game: Why UPS Sucks My Ass (And Not In a Good Way). I received an Info Notice yesterday. Having learned a thing or two from the past incident (or so I thought), I called to immediately change the delivery address, since I will be at work each time UPS tries to deliver the package. An automated message says that you can do that online rather than hold for an operator. Trusting UPS, I go to their website and enter the tracking number... and get an error message stating they have no info on that package. So I call UPS back, enter my info number, and wait for an operator, only to have him tell me he has no info on that tracking number. We attempt to search using an alternate approach. By last name, I'm sure you're thinking. Nope, they can't search by last name... they search by address. Fair enough. I give them my address... no info. The operator says that he will leave a message telling the deliveryman to change the address to my office. Where exactly he will leave this message, since apparently my package is a ghost in the system, I do not know. But I can almost guarantee another Info Notice waiting for me when I go home tonight.

I finally started watching all of the I Love the 80s Strikes Back that have been sitting in my DVR (one of the greatest inventions of my lifetime). This series is not nearly as good as the original, with the exception of Henry Rollins. VH1 (or some other channel) should give him his own series in which they just let him talk about stuff. He's hilarious! On Gloworms: "I don't care about them unless they dispense $100 bills." On the song "Don't Worry, Be Happy": "Don't you tell me what to do... I'll punch you in the fucking face!" Tommy actually e-mails with him. If I had access to Henry Rollins, I would talk to him non-stop. He rules.

Another Sunday night, another terrible episode of The Simpsons. Parody of the California Raisins? What year is this? If yesterday were 1988, that may have been funny... but I doubt it. My obligation to keep watching this crap is shrinking every episode...

Saw The Two Towers: Extended Edition at Loews 42nd St. on Friday night. It is long. Very long. But good. And long. Michael Moore sat 6 seats down from me. I purposely stepped on his foot on my way out. Take that, ya fat fuck! (Amazingly, I liked Bowling for Columbine, and bought a "Stupid White Men" boxed calendar... after almost a year of his daily blabbering, I can't stand the man... funny how my mind works)

Exhausted after last night's holiday party... people are walking through the halls today looking like the zombies from Night of the Living Dead.

I'm seeing the extended version of Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers tonight. I definitely did not plan this well... sitting through a 4-hour movie is not ideal when running very little sleep.

Another fascinating music link. I'd love to get my hands on the Joe Pesci song. And the 49ers singing "Winter Wonderland." I remember enjoying "The Superbowl Shuffle" song and video when they first came out. Having seen the video recently, I can now say that it is one of the worst things ever created by man. Watching the Bears dance is painful. The steps were as follows:
1) Lean on left foot
2) Clap
3) Lean on right foot
4) Clap
5) Repeat
And they couldn't get that right. Also, apparently Walter Payton and Jim McMahon were too high and mighty to appear with their teammates, as their scenes were done in front of the worst blue-screen since the scene with the Firey puppets in Labyrinth. Although it did lead to one of the funniest skits in Saturday Night Live history: the foreign NFL players singing "We Are Kickers" ("we are kickers, we kick ball, we play with ball, we kick the ball").

MTV holiday party tonight. Hopefully I'll have some good gossip to spill tomorrow.

What a morning... I get soaked in the rain on my way to work, only to turn on my computer and see this. Could things get worse?

Does this make me laugh or make me sick? I can't tell yet. But it does make me yearn for "Chinese Democracy." I really shouldn't be a GnR fan anymore, given the shit they put me through when I went to see them in Philly just over a year ago. But I can't stay mad at Axl, as long as he can still do the snake dance. (by the way, does anyone else think he sounds uncannily like Janis Joplin at the end of "My Michelle"?)

Big Fish opens in NY today. I have such high expectations for it, but reviews have been mixed so far. Tim Burton was once my favorite director of all time... Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, Beetlejuice, Batman, Edward Scissorhands, Batman Returns... what an incredible string of films. I have seen Beetlejuice more than any other film; I remember one Christmas break during elementary school when I watched it every day for 2 weeks straight. I have chilled a bit on his more recent output, such as Mars Attacks, Planet of the Apes, and Sleepy Hollow, but I hope that he returns to form now. So many buzzworthy films have disappointed me lately; it'd be nice to actually enjoy Big Fish as much as I'm expecting to.

So people in Jersey are hunting bears? Personally, I'm with the protestors on this one... leave the bears alone. There's no need to shoot them. Maybe they could just create a Bear Patrol... or at least watch that episode of The Simpsons this great exchange:

[A full-force Bear Patrol is on watch. Homer watches proudly]
Homer: Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm.
Lisa: That's specious reasoning, Dad.
Homer: Thank you, dear.
Lisa: By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away.
Homer: How does it work?
Lisa: It doesn't work.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: It's just a stupid rock.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: But I don't see any tigers around, do you?
[Homer thinks of this, then pulls out some money]
Homer: Lisa, I want to buy your rock.
[Lisa refuses at first, then takes the exchange]
[The mail arrives]
Homer: Woo-hoo! A perfect day. Zero bears and one big fat hairy paycheck.
[opens it up]
Homer: Hey! How come my pay is so low? ... Bear patrol tax! This is an outrage! It's the biggest tax increase in history!
Lisa: Actually, Dad, it's the smallest tax increase in history.
Homer: Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax.
Lisa: That's home-owner tax.
Homer: Well, anyway, I'm still outraged.

Classic!

Apparently today would have been Jim Morrison's 60th birthday. I'm not that big a fan of the Doors, but they have grown on me over the years. And I love the fact that Mr. Mojo Risin' is an anagram for Jim Morrison. That's genius. It's also hilarious to listen to Ray Manzarek give an interview. He mentions Jim Morrison about every 7 or 8 words. I noticed this when he was on Rockline last April, and it cracks me up. (Note - this is not an endorsement of Rockline... in fact, quite the opposite. Bob Coburn may be the most pretentious suck-ass to ever have a nationally syndicated radio show. He's like the radio equivalent to James Lipton. What a dick.)

My favorite show currently on tv (now that The Office is out of new episodes) is Arrested Development. If you are not watching this show, WATCH IT OR I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN! The writing, pacing, and acting are all so sharp. It hasn't been doing very well ratings-wise, but Fox renewed it for a full season anyway based on the critical acclaim. Fortunately, the ratings have been slowly creeping up, so I hope that means it's starting to catch on. Otherwise it'll turn into another great show cancelled before its time (see Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared, The Job, and Andy Richter Controls the Universe).

Went to see Simon and Garfunkel at the Garden last night. The show had gotten almost universally good reviews until the Times panned Tuesday's show, so I wasn't sure what to expect. Thankfully, they must have stepped it up a notch for their last NYC show, because they sounded great. Especially Garfunkel; his voice is outstanding and still easily reaches the high notes. It's a good thing that God gave him such a voice, because otherwise he is one of the gawkiest men to ever exist. He wore his trademark blue jeans, blue denim shirt, and black vest, which I believe he has been donning for at least 20 years. But it works, because the vest mirrors his hairstyle: lots in the back, some on the sides, nothing up front (I wonder what he even says to his barber when he goes for a haircut... what could he possibly say to lead to that style?). The chemistry wasn't great... Simon almost never looked in Garfunkel's direction, and at times you could almost see the loathing emanate from him. But luckily it didn't affect the sound. And the brief 4-song appearance by the Everly Brothers was fantastic too, but I wish they had played "Cathy's Clown," especially since S&G had their own Kathy for a muse.

Before the show I made the mistake of going to Popeyes for dinner. Popeyes must be a magnet for retards (excluding myself, of course). The woman in front of me ordered the 2-piece meal. She asks for a breast & thigh. The cashier explains that one can only get a breast & wing or thigh and leg. Customer says, "Oh, okay, then I'll have it with a breast & thigh." Cashier once again explains that she cannot have that particular combination. A second cashier comes over and says it can only be either all white meat or all dark meat. The customer says, "Yeah, so gimme a breast and a thigh." JESUS CHRIST! Also of note, Popeyes' paper placemats have a description of their rice which reads "Of course Popeyes serves this! It's also known as 'dirty rice.'" For a restaurant chain whose sanitary conditions are poor at best, they should not be bragging about the fact that one of their side dishes is known as "dirty."

As for the Yankees acquiring Vacquez from the Expos, I'm excited to add him to the pitching staff, but am greatly disappointed that they cut the chord on Nick Johnson. I could see him moving up the chain to become a franchise Yankee, much like Jeter or Bernie, but the Yankees have no patience for player maturity anymore. And who will back up Gimpy Giambi at first when his knees flair up? I would have rather traded Giambi to the Dodgers for Kevin Brown, or putting Soriano in the Vazquez deal. At least I think that Johnson will produce bigtime in the middle of the Expos line-up. I hope he does.

Let's end on a positive note... this link is really funny... and borderline racist, which makes it that much better...

Freakin' cold outside today...

There's this new website, WantedList, that is an online adult DVD rental company. It plans to model itself after Netflix, which I have been a proud member of for over 2 years. Netflix has been hugely successful, and I figure that WantedList will be, too. You make a list of porno movies you'd like to rent, pay like $15 a month, they send you 2 movies on your list, you watch them, and when you're done with one, send it back in the prepaid envelope, and they will send you another movie. (there is an additional step that takes place during the "watch" portion for the WantedList films, but I have excluded it) I'm sure that the biggest hindrance in the porn rental industry is the embarrassment factor. Take that away by making it anonymous, and WantedList should follow Netflix all the way to the bank. It may even be more profitable, given the money it'll save without the need for adhesive on the envelopes...

I'm feeling very old today... went to see Zebrahead at the Knitting Factory last night, and was almost definitely the oldest person in the crowd (so many 17-year-old hoochies). Plus my left ear hasn't popped yet from my flight on Sunday night, so there is a constant ringing in it. I guess life does go downhill after 23...

As for the Zebrahead concert, I feel bad that, even though they never really reached a point they could call "success," they seem to be losing fans instead of gaining them. I first saw them 4 years ago, and they played to at least 1,000 people. Last night there were around 150, maybe 200. Definitely more people showed up to hear Lucky Boys Confusion, the opening act. Zebrahead isn't a polished band of quality musicians, but they write catchy songs with clever lyrics and have fun onstage. I hope they do manage to break through at some point. If Good Charlotte, Simple Plan, New Found Glory, etc. all can make it, then Zebrahead certainly should too, since they put those other bands to shame.

Since I'm on the topic of music, I should post my reaction to the full Rolling Stone Top 500 Albums issue... I know I touched on this briefly, but there is much more to be said. Too much to deal with right now, in fact. But I'll get to it in the next few days...

Back in action after a few days in Florida for Thanksgiving. To catch up, I've decided to steal a page out of TV Guide and do a Cheers & Jeers section. Here goes...

Jeers to airline travel. Tuesday night I get to LaGuardia for a 7:45pm flight on American down to Ft. Lauderdale. But apparently the plane coming in from Nashville had to circle because of "air traffic" and ran out of gas, causing it to land at Kennedy to refuel. It then couldn't take off because of more "air traffic," and when it finally did, it couldn't land because another flight had taken over our gate. We ended up being 2 1/2 hours late. "Air traffic" is the biggest crock of shit. Flights are scheduled so that each one has a specific slot. How ATC can suddenly be overwhelmed with traffic is beyond comprehension. And the fact that the plane from Nashville was given just enough fuel to cover the short trip to New York (and none extra) is not too comforting. Way to start my vacation off poorly.

Cheers to my grandmother for telling a story and using the phrase "shot his wad," then realizing the inappropriateness of it and trying to correct herself by saying "shot his load," as if that's any better. Sometimes my grandma can make me laugh harder than anyone. That was one of those times.

Jeers to my grandmother for freaking out when a waitress brought her a refill on her Diet Coke without asking first. "What's this? I didn't order this!" she shrieked. Why do senior citizens become so ornery?

Cheers to two of my friends who freaked out that they are now too old to attend a live taping of TRL. At 25 and 26, they are just past the 18-24 cutoff. But I'm glad that they enjoy MTV so much as to care. Plus it lets me make fun of them for being old.

Jeers to the Red Sox for landing Curt Schilling. And to the Diamondbacks for asking for two of the Yankees' best young players (Johnson and Soriano) and taking scrubs from the Sox (Fossum and Lyon). Schilling now joins my list of "Do Not Draft" players for next year's fantasy league. I still don't think the Sox will win the Series anytime in the near future, though.

Cheers to Schilling's quote - "I guess I hate the Yankees now." That's some strong, energetic emotion he's got going. Way to motivate yourself.

Jeers to Song airline. This is the second time I've flown them, and the second time I've been disappointed. They're never on-time, their seats are ugly (lime green leather?), and although they've been operating for months, they have yet to install the music players into their planes from which they got the name "Song." Oh, and it was great having the stewardess give the following speech to me and my fellow exit-row passengers: "Since y'all are in an exit row, I need to go over something with you. I need to make sure you follow procedure correctly. We did have an emergency recently, and someone in charge of the door simply jumped out the window. Please make sure you follow the correct procedure." (At this point, somebody starts laughing) "You think it's funny, but it's not. What y'all need to do is... ah, whatever." (She walks away without detailing the correct procedure) I don't know which is worse... the fact that she didn't tell us what to do, or the fact that Song has had an emergency that utilized the emergency exits recently. Way to end my vacation poorly.

All in all, it was good to get out of Manhattan for a few days and spend time with the family. And I can't believe it's already December. Where has this year gone?