Yesterday as I was leaving the Barnes & Noble on 66th & Broadway, I walked past Al Sharpton (and the trailing pack of paparazzi) as he entered the Starbucks next door. Then today I see video of that exciting event on TMZ. I'm the guy in the orange shirt and black leather jacket who strolls by 5 seconds in.
You can knock off another 2 seconds from my 15 minutes of fame.

There's nothing like a good feud between comics. Even better than a feud is a Royal Rumble, which is what's happening over at ASpecialThing.com. Fans voted for their favorite comic currently working, and this is how the list turned out:

1. Paul F. Tompkins

2. Patton Oswalt

3. Louis CK

4. Zach Galifianakis

5. Scharpling & Wurster

6. Maria Bamford

7. Jimmy Pardo

8. Doug Benson

9. Eugene Mirman

10. Tim & Eric

11. Todd Glass

12. Andy Kindler

13. Jen Kirkman

14. Flight of the Conchords

15. Todd Barry

16. Brody Stevens

17. The Sklar Brothers

18. John Mulaney

19. Demetri Martin

t20. Andy Daly

t20. David Cross

Others of note: Jim Gaffigan, Sarah Silverman, Human Giant, Brent Weinbach, Doug Stanhope, Bob Odenkirk, Mike Birbigli, Hard n Phirm, Brendon Small, Craig Anton and Ron Lynch of the Tomorrow Show, Neil Hamburger 29.

That didn't sit well with Tim & Eric, who posted this video:



Eugene Mirman got wind of it, and posted this response:



Some random guy posted another response:



Followed by Zack Galifianakis getting in the game:



Then Todd Barry:



And last but not least (so far), Patton Oswalt:



Will we eventually get videos from all 20? Let's hope so.

I just finished watching all five hours of VH1's 100 Greatest Songs of the 90s. Disastrous list. The main problem, I think, is that it counts down not of the greatest songs, but the most famous. Any list that has "Rico Suave" or "I'm Too Sexy" in it cannot use the word "great" to describe it. I won't create my own list, like I did with the 80s countdown, nor will I make a case for their selection of the wrong song from most artists ("Dreams" instead of "Linger"... any Beastie Boys song other than "Sabotage"...). But in my humble opinion, I cannot believe that the following songs* (in no particular order) were omitted:

Guns N Roses - "November Rain"
Smashing Pumpkins - "Disarm"
Veruca Salt - "Volcano Girls"
Coolio - "Gangsta's Paradise"
Blur - "Song 2"
Nine Inch Nails - "Closer"
Duran Duran - "Ordinary World"
Garbage - "Only Happy When It Rains"
Matthew Sweet - "Girlfriend"
Soul Coughing - "Circles"
Sublime - "What I Got"
Temple of the Dog - "Hunger Strike"
The Verve - "Bittersweet Symphony"
Natalia Imbruglia - "Torn"
Outkast - "Rosa Parks"
Seal - "Crazy"
Boyz II Men - "Motownphilly"
Positive K - "I Got a Man"
Eels - "Novocaine for the Soul"
George Michael - "Freedom 90"
No Doubt - "Just a Girl"
Rage Against the Machine - "Bullet in the Head"
US3 - "Cantaloop (Flip Fantasia)"
The Proclaimers - "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)"
Stone Temple Pilots - "Interstate Love Song"
Savage Garden - "I Want You"

* Note: there are many more that could be included, but I stuck to their concept of the songs having to be a hit (which excluded TONS of options) and only one song per artist. And yes, I realize that the inclusion of artists like Savage Garden make me look like a complete tool, but come on... you all love the Cherry Cola song too, you just can't admit it.

Once again I've fallen behind on my posting, so some of this will be seem dated. Here goes anyway...
- For all you Survivor fans who were dying to find out where Courtney works: it's Coffee Shop. Seems an appropriate fit, although she was building it up just a bit by saying it's one of NYC's best restaurants. And for those of you who'd like to see "more" of her, she's got a topless photo in her model portfolio.
- Speaking of topless, this website for a Shock Absorber Bra provides hours of fun. Just click on the breast side and level of activity and watch them hooters bounce. Hint: bigger = better. Probably best not to do this at work.
- I ran across the "Christmas Is a Time To Say I Love You" video on VH1 Classic the other day. Nothing against working for MTV now, but I'll bet it was an absolute blast to work there back in 1981. They would never do anything like this today.



- MTV doesn't even do things like this anymore. Advantage: Fuse.



- Despite an almost impossible rash of injuries this season, I made it to the finals of my fantasy football league, having to defeat the #1 team twice and the #3 team in the final month to do so (I was #4). Sadly, I've just officially lost a nailbiter. It's a respectable finish, but to come so close and not win hurts. I really wanted that damn Yahoo trophy. I'm co-managing one other team, and after entering the playoffs as the #8 seed, we've upset our way into the final. So maybe I'll end up with a trophy after all... or at least half of one.
- And finally, I'll carry on my annual tradition by posting lyrics to one of my favorite rock & roll Christmas songs. Happy holidays to all my readers.

Merry Christmas, I don't want to fight tonight
Merry Christmas, I don't want to fight tonight
Merry Christmas, I don't want to fight tonight with you

Where is Santa? At his sleigh?
Tell me why is it always this way?
Where is Rudolph? Where is Blitzen, baby?
Merry Christmas, merry merry merry Christmas

All the children are tucked in their beds
Sugar-plum fairies dancing in their heads
Snowball fighting, it's so exciting baby

I love you and you love me
And that's the way it's got to be
I loved you from the start
'Cause Christmas ain't the time for breaking each other's hearts

Where is Santa? At his sleigh?
Tell me why is it always this way?
Where is Rudolph? Where is Blitzen, baby?
Merry Christmas, merry merry merry Christmas

All the children are tucked in their beds
Sugar-plum fairies dancing in their heads
Snowball fighting, it's so exciting baby

Yeah, yeah, yeah

I love you and you love me
And that's the way it's got to be
I loved you from the start
'Cause Christmas ain't the time for breaking each other's hearts

Merry Christmas, I don't want to fight tonight
Merry Christmas, I don't want to fight tonight
Merry Christmas, I don't want to fight tonight with you

Blood on the Tracks
I've been debating whether or not to post about this, as it's a somewhat humiliating story. But what the hell, here goes...
On Thursday afternoon, at the uptown 1/2/3 platform in the Times Square subway station, I fell / got bumped onto the tracks.
It wasn't completely my fault, and it wasn't completely somebody else's fault. I had leaned over to look for an approaching train, and a group of people walking behind me accidentally brushed against me just hard enough to propel my momentum forward. I had about 2 seconds to unsuccessfully try to steady myself (probably with comical cartoon-like arm waving... I can't quite recall), and eventually my weight carried me over the platform.
I'd say it's about a 5-foot drop, which isn't that far, and fortunately I landed on my feet, but I landed hard on my right ankle. Also on my way down I attempted to catch myself and smashed my left palm against the platform edge.
My first thought as I hit the ground was: don't touch the rail (even though I was nowhere near the third, a.k.a. electric, one).
My second thought: this is so embarrassing (triggered by the collective gasp from the crowd above me).
I would have had no trouble hoisting myself back onto the platform (and yes, there was a train approaching, albeit about 60 seconds away), but an MTA worker happened to be standing right there, so he reached out his hand and helped me up. I thanked him, assured him I was okay, then scurried to the other end of the platform to distance myself from the witnesses.
When I got home a few minutes later, I checked my ankle and wrist for swelling and luckily found none. Both throbbed a bit, but there didn't seem to be any real damage. This all happened around 4:30pm. By 9pm, the ankle had stiffened up considerably. By 10pm, I couldn't put any weight on it, forcing me to make an early exit from the MTV holiday party (which I'd had to sneak into* after not getting an invitation despite consistent work in 2007... thank you very much, Viacom). Of course I couldn't find a cab, so I hobbled to the subway. Got home, downed a few ibuprofen pills, and went to bed (blatantly violating my sleep schedule) hoping that rest would heal the ankle.
As of yesterday morning, the ankle is significantly improved, but still tender. Stairs, and even curbs, are still a bitch, and I cannot move faster than a leisurely stroll. But I think I'll be able to avoid crutches or a visit to the doctor.
Feel free to laugh now.

* Note: for anyone who wants or needs to sneak into a future MTV holiday party, all you need is a red Sharpie. Every year the stamp to reenter from the smoking section is same. Just write PUFF on your hand, sneak inside the smoking barricade, and you're good to go.

Has LSTT been on a sympathy strike in support of the WGA? No.
Have I just been lazy? Yes.
I've also been busy at Cash Cab, where yesterday I wrote my 2,000th question. It'll be a long-shot to reach 2,500 by the end of this cycle, and I'm still barely halfway to the all-time question champ, but I'm leaving my mark.
But I finally have a few things that beg to be written about:
- My old high-school buddy Mary Carey is auctioning off her used implants to raise money for breast cancer research. When I first heard, I thought, "Great, she gave up her implants." But it turns out she upgraded to bigger ones. This is after she publicly swore that she was all-natural. There's a group of high school alumni that want to band together to bid on them, get them bronzed, and donate them to the school's science building. But as of this writing, they're at $6,600. Definitely too pricey for a prank.
- Tonight is the MTV holiday party. If you've been following Gawker's coverage of Viacom over the past 48 hours, it's possible there will be a full-scale riot.
- And I'm sure you've all seen this parody of The Hills with James Franco and Mila Kunis. If not, do it. Now!