Today's lunch at the Google cafeteria was catered by Peter Luger. That's right... PETER FUCKING LUGER! Porterhouse, lamb chops, creamed spinach, fried German potatoes, Caesar salad, shrimp cocktail... and all free, and all-you-can-eat. But my celebration might be short-lived... this news came out today (yes, I am a contractor). And then Google closed a cafeteria in their San Fran office. I'm only here another three weeks... hopefully the free meals last that long.

Also, here's a bunch of weird stuff I ran across on the internet today...
- "Hit a Jew Day" and "Hit a Tall Person Day"? I would've gotten destroyed at this school.

- Yeah, no wonder this girl is smiling (although I've never in my life seen anybody smile like the "before" photo. And why isn't the girl in the ad Asian?)

- I wish I'd seen this lesson on "Not-Okay Touching" years ago... would've saved me more than a few problems.


- Matt Stairs likes to have his ass hammered.

He's Baaaaaaaaack!
All hail the return of Terry Tate!



While all of his videos are great, I think this is my favorite:

Now I don't want to call Anderson Cooper a liar, per se. But after watching this Videogum video of his chat with Kelly Ripa, I have to call his bluff. For you see, I was also at this Prince concert. And there are many holes in his story.
1) There were closer to 200 people in the room
2) Prince didn't play until 4:30am... the concert ended a few minutes before 4am.
3) Prince didn't play for 3 1/2 hours... he got on-stage at 1:05am, which means he played for less than 3 hours, including a 10-minute intermission*
And most importantly...
4) Anderson left right around the intermission. I watched him walk out and not return. So how could he know the truth about points 2 & 3?

Sorry Anderson, I still think you're great.

* The intermission featured some not-good "stand-up" from Dave Chapelle, who realized he couldn't curse in front of Prince the stout Jehovah's Witness and therefore apparently had very little usable material. I don't blame him, of course... he was spontaneously asked to kill time until Prince returned, and therefore he didn't prepare any material. Plus it's certainly no easy job to follow Prince. I just expect more from him

Well, it seems to be official: Chinese Democracy is coming out on November 23. I know, I'll believe it when I see it too... but this really does seem promising. And we'll all get a free Dr. Pepper too!

Out of curiosity, I typed in "chinese democracy" into Google's early days search engine, which recreates a search from January 2001. Amazingly, the results (of which there are 5,180) are mostly about democracy in China. Guns N Roses doesn't show up until the 9th link. Whereas today, the first result (of which there are 1.2 million) is the album's Wikipedia page. Also, back in January 2001 Wikipedia had a whopping 6,000 articles (with no entry on Chinese Democracy or even Guns N Roses) and looked like this.

My new project has finally been officially made public... I'm head writer for YouTube Live, a 90-minute music / comedy / variety show streaming live on YouTube on Nov. 22. I've been working on it for three weeks now, out of the Google Building, which is as incredible as everyone says: two cafeterias serving three free meals a day (recent dishes have included black-truffle mac & cheese, pan-seared scallops, and bacon cheeseburger egg rolls), game rooms with pool and ping-pong and video games, shower rooms, massage rooms, nap rooms... I could probably get away with subletting my apartment and living here for the next 8 weeks. Hmm...

If anyone has any suggestions for the show, or under-the-radar YouTube clips you think should be honored, feel free to let me know.