Don't forget to vote for this year's Orsons.

Tonight on Fox: Celebrity Spelling Bee. Apparently:
"Celebrity Spelling Bee will tap into the appeal of Spellbound by having a 10-year-old spelling champion to whom the celebrity teams can turn when stuck on a word. 'He's what you would expect,' Darnell said. 'A great speller and very precocious.'"
I was hoping it'd be Harry Altman, the musical robot from Spellbond, but he's too old now. At least I know David Faustino will be in it...

So Barbie and Ken split up, eh? Um, I hate to break it to everyone, but they're DOLLS... inanimate objects... what the hell is wrong with people?

Ooh man, this is gonna be good... I can't wait for the names to start leaking out...

I used to like staying friends with ex-girlfriends, especially ones with whom I'm somewhat interested in getting back together, but afer last night I may have to rethink my entire outlook... unless somebody can tell me a good way to get out of having to listen to an ex play really awful guitar music and having to feign enthusiasm and compliments (all the while being on your best behavior because her mother is in town), then being forced to take an 80-minute subway ride from Brooklyn back to your apartment in uptown Manhattan... anyone?

I noticed a couple of bizarre moments in this week's RW/RR Challenge: The Inferno that I'm sure most people didn't pick up on:
1) After Leah says that she thinks Darrell is the sexiest guy there, it cuts to him talking to Julie, who is stroking his arm. No offense to Darrell, but I'm sure that such pre-marriage fornication with an African-American is exactly the type of non-Mormon behavior that caused BYU to give Julie the boot.
2) In the club after Trischelle pisses everyone off, Jeremy comes up and attempts to calm her down... although it seems to me that he's actually trying to hit on her... and this happens while he's got Katie clinging to him... and Katie is so drunk that when he steps away from her, she basically topples over. I think the general consensus already was that Jeremy is a tool, but the fact that he's trying to take advantage of two completely hammered girls nails this point home. And while I have no respect for Katie, she certainly can do better than Jeremy, even in a state of complete obliteration.
Nevertheless, an entertaining episode.

I wish I was rich enough to own the MTV building... if I did, I would wire the elevators so that if anyone ever pressed a button that was already lit, they'd get a shock. It doesn't make the elevator go any faster... get a clue. While I'm at it, I would also add shock capabilities to subway doors so that people who block them would get zapped... or maybe some form of retractable blades would do the trick, things that shot out like Wolverine's claws... if somebody's arm is wedged between the doors, the blades would slice it right off, and the train could go on its merry way. Yeah, that'd be cool.

My friend pointed this out to me last night, and it's pretty damn cool... Billy Zabka, the King of 80s movies (Karate Kid, Just One of the Guys, Back to School), is nominated for an Oscar this year! It's true... Best Short Film (Live Action) for a movie called Most (The Bridge). Check it out:
A quick check at his IMDB page shows that it is in fact the same William (Billy) Zabka.
Can you imagine the reaction if he wins? The presenter announces his name, the audience applauds politely, but once he strides up to the stage and begins his acceptance speech, people slowly gasp as they realize, "Hey, that can't be Johnny Lawrence, can it?" Would he thank Cobra Kai? Would someone call out "Sweep the leg!"? The possibilities are endless!
We have to start a campaign to get Zabka the Oscar. Anyone have any ideas? Who's with me?

Here are the liner notes for the Referential Mix I made for Tommy:

1. Running Down a Dream - Tom Petty: What better way to kick off a mix than with a great guitar lick? The ultimate driving song about listening to a driving song (Del Shannon’s “Runaway”)
2. Maybe Angels - Sheryl Crow: Elvis, Kurt Cobain, John Lennon, and Jesus (arguably the world’s first rock star).
3. Surrender - Cheap Trick: Makes me think of Damone from Fast Times more than it makes me think about Kiss, but a good song nonetheless. Cheap Trick is actually going on tour with Aerosmith this summer… and Aerosmith just finished touring with Kiss… what a tangled web.
4. Born in the 50s - The Police: Would a song called “Born in the 80s” have any impact at all? Instead of “screaming for the Beatles,” they’d be screaming for New Kids on the Block? That’s an odd thing to think about.
5. The Seeker - The Who: I was all set to put “You Better, You Bet” on here, but changed at the last minute because 1) I had another song referencing T. Rex and 2) this is a better song. Good thing too, because you put “You Better, You Bet” on yours. Do you think anyone else has ever called Bob Dylan “Bobby”?
6. Blinded By the Light - Bruce Springsteen: I may have cheated a bit using a classical reference, but the lyrics of this song are incredible and come off much better than the poppier, more-famous version by Manfred Mann.
7. All the Young Dudes - Mott the Hoople: A better T. Rex-referential song that the Who’s.
8. Life Is Real – Queen: Subtitled “Song for Lennon.”
9. Make Me Lose Control - Eric Carmen: Odd that this is from an album released in 1977 but became a hit in 1988. I remember hearing this song for the first time on a bus from the airport to summer camp (my first time going to camp without my sister) and being calm. And I think that almost everyone knows the words to “Stand By Me” by heart.
10. Come On Eileen - Dexy's Midnight Runners: I came very close to not including this song, because I thought you’d hate it. But the reference to Johnnie Ray was too good to pass up.
11. Beethoven (I Love to Listen to) – Eurythmics
12. Rocket - Def Leppard: I got the cassette of Hysteria when I was 8, and I’m sure that in my lifetime I’ve listened to that album more than any other. Of course, when I was 8, I couldn’t identify any of the long list of references (except for “Benny & the Jets”).
13. The New Style - Beastie Boys: Could anyone think of a better rhyme for Jimmy Page than “the girlies I like are underage”?
14. When We Was Fab - George Harrison: Obviously there are covert references to the Beatles, but he also mentions songs by Dylan and Gayle McCormick. I used to think this was one of the coolest videos ever made, but watching it now, it’s just cheesy – Ringo is the biggest ham in showbiz.
15. When Smokey Sings – ABC: When Smokey sings, I think of this song.
16. Life in a Northern Town - Dream Academy: I wouldn’t have put this on if you didn’t once mention that you liked Dream Academy, which took me by surprise. Sadly, this is the 6th song on this mix that references the Beatles (or one of its members).
17. Fight the Power - Public Enemy

You can find Tommy's track list / liner notes here. He turned his into a double-CD; however, he doubled (and even tripled) up on many artists. Selectivity is the hardest part of this type of project, which is why I'm penalizing him. But I still have to give him credit for an excellent compilation and for introducing me to some fantastic music.
*Note - after no duplicates in our first swap, we have 3 duplicates on this one, and 4 others that potentially could've been (I almost put in "You Better You Bet," "Dio," and "Do You Remember Rock & Roll Radio," he almost put in "Come On Eileen"). Fascinating similarities.

A sign posted in the studio today had 8 simple words that made my week:
"24 Hours with Fred Durst Has Been Cancelled!"

WHOO!!! New Terry Tate movie!

I watched about 5 minutes of the Grammy's last night (saw the Foo Fighters perform, then turned it off when Coldplay won), but from the Post's review of it, it sounded great, especially:
The most cringe-inducing moment was when Sting, Vince Gill, Dave Matthews and Pharrell Williams paid homage to the Beatles on the 40th anniversary of the Fab Four's American conquest. "American Idol" villain critic Simon Cowell always warns all of the amateur contenders, "Don't forget the words." Yet when the quartet attempted "I Saw Her Standing There," Matthews Sang, "I saw her dancing there." Sting glided along the chorus until he derailed on the Paul McCartney high note, and the harmonies sounded like somebody was hurting a dog.
The boys had nobody to blame but themselves, but poor Celine Dion who performed Luther Vandross' "Dance With My Father" was mired in technical difficulties. While the camera focused in tightly on Dion, all you could hear was a now-unemployed sound guy repeatedly asking, "Should I take it up, should I take it up." He finally took it up to the point that Dion busted a few eardrums when her upper register collided with a wall of feedback.
Ha and double-ha to Matthews and Dion... I hate you both.

Speaking of Foo Fighters, who would've thought ten years ago that by 2004 a spin-off band by Nirvana's drummer would have three times as many Grammys as Nirvana?

One last Grammy note... Tommy has the greatest line I think I've ever read in one of these event diary-type things:
8:45 Justin Trousersnake says "It's an honor" just to be in the company of the other nominees. If by "honor," you mean "travesty," bulls-eye, JT!
Tommy has helped me a lot with my writing, but it's moments like this where I realize I'll just never get to his level.

You'll have to take my word for it, but believe me, if you go to Circuit City to pick up a stereo you ordered and after 30 minutes of waiting they still haven't brought it up from the downstairs warehouse, the only thing that keeps you from going insane is watching a 7-year-old boy singing and doing the Robot while "Barbie Girl" plays overhead as his dad gives him a look that pleads "please don't turn out gay"...

It's been several days now since the Super Bowl, and I'm tired of hearing how great Tom Brady is... how he's the next coming of Joe Montana... how he's now a certain Hall-of-Famer. Give me a break. Although it's swapping sports, the best comparison for Brady is to Orlando Hernandez. In his tenure with the Yankees, El Duque pitched ably (but certainly not spectacularly) for several seasons... yet he thrived during the postseason. Will El Duque make the Hall? Of course not. If Brady keeps up his pace, should he? Of course not. Playing well (and let's not forget that Brady twice nearly cost the Pats wins this posteason with his late game in-the-endzone interceptions) for a few games a season is not enough to earn such respect. So drop the charade, okay?

By the way, how is this news?

Saw my friend and former roommate Liz Tormes perform last night. As usual, a great set. If you're into kinda folksy-acoustic-guitar songs, you should check her out.

I can't stop looking at this two-headed baby... although the second head looks like it belongs to the monkey from Outbreak.

All 7 Police Academy movies are coming out on DVD in April. The only thing funnier than those movies? This press release. "Law enfarcement" - that's gold! And if there's anyone out there who thinks that the Police Academy Giftset (featuring all 7 films) will provide"hard-core laughter," I'd love to meet him / her.

The NFL has bounced JC Chasez from performing at the Pro-Bowl. Somewhere, Justin is laughing about this, his evil plan to destroy the solo careers of all other N'Sync members having been set into motion...

Wow, this guy may be more obessed with The Simpsons than I am. It's a damn fine list (ignoring the fact that he screws up by listing 100-75 in the first day, which is actually 26 items, thereby screwing up the distribution for the rest of the week), but not as good as the one I linked to on Nov. 18.

We're getting close to the start of baseball season, and articles are becoming more plentiful. This is a good one, although it bothers me that the author is so confident that both Bonds and Sosa will break the home-run record. Bonds, maybe. Sosa will have lots of trouble hitting dingers with the new drug testing in place. Should be interesting to see how this season plays out.

I could get lost for hours in this site.

Looks like there's a feud developing between Lindsayism and Hot Abercrombie Chick. I say they settle this in a ring... naked... with jello...

Yesterday Tommy and I exchanged our Track 5 mixes... and, as expected, his was far superior to mine. Mine was 18 tracks, his 21. High points of mine:
- Tom Petty, "It's Good To Be King" (from Wildflowers)
- Pearl Jam, "Wash" (from Lost Dogs)
- Eels, "3 Speed" (from Electro-Shock Blues)
- STP, "Still Remains" (from Purple)
- Glen Phillips, "My Own Town" (from Abulum)
- Cyndi Lauper, "She-Bop" (from She's So Unusual)
High points of his:
- Pulp, "Disco 2000" (from Different Class)
- Buzzcocks, "Ever Fallen in Love" (from Singles Going Steady)
- Replacements, "Waitress in the Sky" (from Tim)
- Tom Waits, "The Piano Has Been Drinking (Not Me)"
- Stevie Wonder, "Sir Duke" (from Songs in the Key of Life)
- Pink Floyd, "The Gunner's Dream" (from The Final Cut).
How could I have left off "Sir Duke"??? Tommy claims that he likes mine, but he knows he won this battle. The war has yet to be decided, however... next week will be another mix... topic is Songs That Reference Other Songs / Musicians. Stay tuned...

So it looks like my predictions for the Super Bowl were WAY off. It was a surprisingly good game, although I would’ve liked a different outcome. And it should’ve been a different outcome… the Panthers lost the game more than the Patriots won it. So many mistakes in the 4th quarter:
1) Going for 2 points with 12 minutes to play.
2) Going for 2 points again.
3) Calling a time-out when they got down to the 15 yard line with 1:07 left.
4) Not calling a running play to eat up some time.
5) Booting the kickoff out of bounds.
If they had simply kicked extra points every time, they would’ve been up 31-28 (NE would not have tried a 2-pointer either), so the field goal would’ve sent the game into overtime instead of sending the Panthers home as runner-ups. And how could they possibly give the Pats so much time? Did they learn nothing from Super Bowl XXXVI? Very frustrating.
Other notes from watching the game:
- Who didn't know that Vinatieri would miss the first field goal when they showed the graphic saying that his only 2 misses indoors took place at Reliant Stadium?
- The commercials were AWFUL. Truth had 2 of my favorite ads… how sad is that?
- I didn’t know that Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer played for the Panthers (#86, Kris Mangum)
- How pretentious of Pepsi to try to take credit for Hendrix’s career. What’s next, a commercial where Christopher Columbus asks for permission to find a faster passage to India for better access to Pepsi? (Interesting to note that had Hendrix picked the accordion, he would most likely still be alive today… although would anybody know who he is? Makes you think…)
- The Halftime show was also AWFUL. I told my friend Matt that if the stage had blown up, it would’ve eliminated 3 of my top-10 Least-Favorite People Alive (P. Diddy, Kid Rock, Justin Timberlake). And my ass they didn’t plan to have Janet’s boob hanging out.
- As the second half was beginning, Phil Simms made this genius comment: “Don’t forget that historically, lots of stuff happens in the 2nd half.” (approximate quote) I don’t know that I’d say a lot… more like half the stuff happens in the 2nd half. Thanks for that brilliant analysis.
It’ll be a long 7 months until the start of next season.

I saw Monster over the weekend and liked it a lot. Charlize Theron really does give an incredible performance, although I think it had been built up a bit too much. One thing I found odd was that it seems that in South Florida in the 1980s, every car on every street was not actually driving anywhere, but was in fact trolling for hookers. I grew up in South Florida in the 80s and never noticed this phenomenon... and it makes me wonder my dad actually was going out to "go bowling with the guys" on Wednesday nights...
It's also interesting how prostitute movies have evolved over the past 15 years. Monster and Pretty Woman would be much different films if you swapped the lead characters. Monster would make more sense if Christina Ricci's character kept telling Julia Roberts' Vivian how pretty her face was... although having Aileen Wuornos in Pretty Woman would have had a hilarious effect on one scene in particular:
(walks up to snooty saleswoman)
"Hi... remember me? I was in here yesterday and you wouldn't wait on me. "
(pulls out gun)
"Big mistake."
(shoots saleswoman in the stomach)
"Huge!"
(fires several more bullets into saleswoman's chest, the calmly walks away)