I was hoping that this was a cruel, delayed April Fool's joke, especially when I read this part:
"Don't be fooled by the rocks. Mama Guadalupe, she's still the Mama From the Block," quipped the pal. But I don't think it is. How does shit like this happen? And I hate how she credits divine intervention... "Our Lady really looks out for me." She's so full of herself. Damn that entire family.