Chronology of Celebrity Crushes

1995: Famke Janssen (GoldenEye) / Salma Hayek (Desperado)


Another tie. And it could've been a threesome with Natasha Henstridge. Yeah, in my dreams...

What a year for hot film debuts. But I had to go for the foreigners. In one corner with got Famke from the Netherlands, playing Xenia Onatopp (awesome Bond name) who kills men in bed by scissoring them to death. In the other is Salma from Mexico, playing Antonio Banderas's damsel-in-distress. Two very different roles. Two very different backgrounds. The same reaction from my loins.

Famke Post-GoldenEye thumbs-up: Steady work. Steady good looks. Hard to complain.

Famke Post-GoldenEye thumbs-down: I've heard from many sources that she's a total bitch in real life.

Salma Post-Desperado thumbs-up: Also steady work. And also steady good looks. Plus she's got the best rack in Hollywood, in my humble opinion.

Salma Post-Desperado thumbs-down: The unibrow in Frida was not her best look.