Jimmy Dean... Rock On!
Congrats to my friend and co-worker S____, who is starring as The Cloud in a new series of Jimmy Dean Sausage ads. The commercials are not airing yet, but you can see some additional promos here.
(Note: you may also recognize him from this Microsoft commercial)

Worst... Duet... Ever!
So I recently noticed that the reunited Box Tops are playing a free show in New York next month. Which led me to do some research into the band. Which led me to notice that they do a Blondie cover on an album called When Pigs Fly: Songs You Never Thought You'd Hear. Which led me to find this, a cover of "Unforgettable"... by Ani DiFranco and Jackie Chan.
Ugh.

Again I am lazy today, so all I can offer is this trailer for The Science of Sleep, which I am now obsessed with.

Stop... Hammertime
The other night, Conan O'Brien asked his viewers for help: download MC Hammer's new song from iTunes so that he won't be poor anymore and Conan won't feel guilty about cracking jokes at his expense. The new song is called "I Got It From the Town." You can hear it for free on Hammer's MySpace page (yes, he doesn't have a house but he has a MySpace page).
The lyrics of the chorus go "Where'd you get it from? I got it from the town." Having no idea what that means, I asked a co-worker, who explained that the town = Oakland. Glad he cleared that up for me.

I don't really have much motivation to write anything after the long 4th of July weekend, so here are some more random facts about me.
- I believe the worst song of all time is LFO, "Summer Girls"...
- The first time I ever got dumped was in 4th grade. I was dating Martha A_____, and she passed me a note that said "Do you like me: yes/no. Do you love me: yes/no." For "like" I checked the "yes" box, but for "love" I drew an "I don't know" box in the middle and checked it. That was the end of that...
- I still own 2 pair of Skidz and wore one of them as recently as this past weekend...
- My handwriting is the equivalent of a 5-year-old's…
- In my lifetime, the movie I have seen more than any other is Beetlejuice...
- I never drink coffee… can't stand the taste...
- I currently have 6403 songs on my iPod. Artist with the most: The Beach Boys. 2nd most: The Kinks...
- Growing up I wanted to be a veterinarian, but changed my mind when I went to an orientation meeting to volunteer at the Humane Society and saw a video of animals being put to sleep…
- I have never broken a bone. I have never had surgery (except for wisdom teeth removal). The worst injury of my life was when my left rotator cuff atrophied away for some unknown reason, causing my left arm to continually slip out of its shoulder and forcing me to do 4 months of physical therapy...
- My current favorite album of all time is The Zombies, "Odyssey & Oracle." If you don't own it or haven't heard it, go get it right now. You'll understand why during the chorus of track 1 when the singers kick in after the piano...
- My first celebrity crushes (to my recollection) were Kim Basinger and Winona Ryder. I still fancy both of them...
- When I climb (or descend) stairs, I always try to take the last step with my right foot. Don't know why...
- I can currently benchpress 215 pounds. It could probably be more, but for some reason I refuse to use spotters…
- If I could have any job in the entertainment industry, it would be to write for South Park…
- I have been to two continents (North America and Europe), and will hit a third (South America) in August when I travel to Buenos Aires…

TRL Moment of the Week
First I hated Hilary Duff when I heard she changed the words to "My Generation" to "Hope I don't die before I get old."
Then I hated Hilary Duff for changing the lyrics of "Our Lips Are Sealed" in the terrible remake duet with her sister.
Now I hate Hilary Duff because on Monday, she had the audacity to say this on TRL about the remake she and her sister recorded of Madonna's "Material Girl":
"It's such a big song to record… it's a little bit of a hip-hop version, a little bit of guitars. It's not so, um… it's not as simple as the first one was."
Oh really? It's so simple, is it? If it's so simple, then why don't you ever write your own fucking songs instead of butchering other artists'?

More Gore
Add "Yes, I play a street-wise pimp" to my list of Things I Incorrectly Thought I'd Never Hear Al Gore Say.

I used to think that being caged in a Pakistani prison would be a nightmare... but after reading this story, it turns out that the prisoners there are just a bunch of pranksters.

To all you people who moved out to L.A. with the hopes of being a star, only to find that the dream isn't coming true, cheer up... you could be like these other failures and end up in the new Red Hot Chili Peppers video.

Wanna creep out your friends and family? Then download a David Lynch ringtone (my favorite is "My teeth are bleeding!"). Although there are a bunch of quotes from his movies he could also use:
"Harry, I really have to urinate."
"Baby wants to fuck!"
"Rockin good news."

As I'm heading off to my Def Leppard / Journey concert, here's some music for you to enjoy... the Flaming Lips appearance on Beverly Hills, 90210. You can't ask for a better review than Steve Sanders' quote at the end:
"I've never been a big fan of alternative music, but these guys rocked the house!"

Actual phone conversation with my mother last night:

Mom: So what are your plans for the week?
Me: Tomorrow night I'm seeing a concert...
Mom: Who's playing?
Me: Def Leppard and Journey.
Mom: Wow, that's a huge show. Those are both really big bands.
Me: Um… yeah. Can you even name a Journey song?
Mom: Let's see… didn't they do the songs from Rocky?
Me: (surprised) No, but that's close. They sound just like them.
Mom: So who did the Rocky songs?
Me: Survivor.
Mom: Oh. Then what does Journey sing?
Me: "Separate Ways," "Open Arms," "Faithfully," "Lights," "Lovin Touchin Squeezin."
Mom: I don't know them.
Me: Okay, now name a Def Leppard song.
Mom: (confidently) I don't know the names of the songs, but they named their albums Def Leppard I, Def Leppard II, Def Leppard III…
Me: No, that's Led Zeppelin.
Mom: Oh. Nevermind.

Bill Simmons' latest column lists his favorite YouTube moments. Lots of them are sports related, most of them you've seen a million times, but it's still a good list.
On that note, here are 2 good links I found (and by found, I mean stole from the latest issue of Rolling Stone, which probably means everyone's already seen them)
- The Fast & the Curious (from the same guy who did The Shining trailer)
- Snakes on a Plane audition

TRL Moment of the Week
On Tuesday, Disney Channel stars Ashley Tisdale (of High School Musical fame) and Miley Cyrus (of "Hannah Montana" and daughter of Billy Ray) were guest co-hosts. Here is a story as told to me from the other writer / floor-producer, who was in charge of that show:
During rehearsal, Ashley complained to him after her first read that the copy on the cue card was too small and that she was having trouble reading it. Before rehearsing the next segment, he took the cue card over to her so that she could better prepare. Looking at the card, she said "This looks much bigger now. Why is the font on this card bigger?"
He replied, "Um, because I'm standing much closer to you."
Embarrassed, she said "Oh yeah, I guess that's it, huh?"

Update: I was recently informed that at one point backstage during yesterday's show (with guests Adam Sandler, Kate Beckinsale, Nelly Furtado, Timbaland, and NBA Finals MVP Dwyane Wade), Wade walked up to Kate and told her how much he loved her song, "Promiscuous." Only at TRL...

A bunch of people have been linking to this site with a huge collection of 80s videos. I think this is a much better list... although in my mind they chose the wrong Chemical Brothers video (should've gone with "Let Forever Be," probably my favorite video of all time) and left off Genesis "Land of Confusion." (which has a new, not-nearly-as-good video directed by Todd McFarlane for the remake by Disturbed).

Wang Chung
Yes, everybody in the blogosphere is posting this painfully awkward Connie Chung video. But just in case any readers somehow haven't seen it yet, I can't in good conscience let you miss it. Enjoy (if you can)!

Home Sweet Homeless
Recently a tenant in my building slipped a note under everyone's door complaining about a problem with homeless people sleeping in the entryway our building.
First, some quick info. When you enter my building, you walk through a set of outer doors into an entryway where the doorman stands (from 6am until midnight), which leads to a second set of doors to the main lobby. When the doorman is off-duty, these inner doors are locked, but there is a buzzer to each apartment next to them. The outer doors always remain unlocked; since the buzzers are inside, there would be no way to contact apartments from outside.
Anyway, the note described this tenant's frequent encounters with homeless people who have been sleeping, and his fruitless attempts to get our landlord to put locks on the outer doors. He claims that he calls 911 everytime he finds someone sleeping in the lobby... sometimes they come to his aide, sometimes they don't. The landlord claims that it is too expensive to change the outer doors and that the only solution is to continue calling the police. This doesn't surprise me at all, as our landlord is ridiculously cheap, constantly stalling on any repairs that cost money until repeated complaints are filed.
Anyway, the letter included a slip to sign to show our solidarity as a building. I was totally sympathetic to the man, ready to jump on board and sign his petition (at least after I received my lease renewal, which should be arriving any day now)... until I got to this paragraph:
In particular, there has been one man who has been here all winter and who is starting to show belligerent behavior. Yesterday, Wednesday morning, and a week earlier, when I went to walk my dog, he followed me, looking angry as if he was about to hurt me. And, yesterday he also blocked the entrance as I tried to re-enter the building. He appeared agitated and threatening - his fly was open - and he only moved away when I spoke to him in a loud voice. It was a frightening experience, my hands shook as I tried to open the lobby door with my key. How would you have felt?
Now I know I shouldn't be negative, since this did not happen to me personally and I have no idea who this tenant is, how old he is or what his life has been like. But come on... do you have to be sooooooooooo melodramatic? It's totally off-putting. I don't want to tell you to grow a set, but...

I saw An Inconvenient Truth over the weekend, and it freaked me out. Completely. All of the statistics and drastic world changes Gore discusses will take place in the next 50 years, which is within my lifetime. At least I hope I live another 50 years. I think. Maybe I don't want to live long enough for the ice caps to melt and for the ocean to submerge a huge portion of the earth and for the average temperature to increase 12 degrees and for massive famines and hurricanes. Of course it's possible Gore is pulling a Michael Moore and is only using data that supports his theory. Maybe glaciers that have melted are reforming in other places. But I doubt it.
I will say that while at first I was bummed, now I'm annoyed that Gore claims he is not running for President in 2008. These slide-show presentations are all well and good, and it's nice to educate people, but he must know that it won't bring about the changes he wants. He needs to push legislation through himself. He needs to step up. Please.

And one side note: the film includes this hilarious clip from Futurama. "Gwobo wapa?" Good stuff! (the first couple seconds are messed up, but then it works)

TRL Moment of the Week
On Wednesday we had the girls of "Making the Band 3" drop by (fortunately without Diddy in tow). During the interview we asked them if they had picked a name for the group yet. Excitedly, they tried to say the name in unison, but it came out like dadmurpshdokwn. Asked to repeat it, one of the girls exclaimed "Danity Kane!"
Danity Kane? What the fuck does that mean? It has to be one of the worst band names of all time. Hopefully it'll make the next Onion A.V. list.

2 quick music links:
- All music lovers living in NYC, I'm sure I'll see you here next Sunday.
- Culture Club fans, can this be real? And what the hell is "kareoki"?

Maclay-ed to Rest
One of my friends from Scotland sent me this article... this is the building I lived in when I was studying at the University of Glasgow my junior year of college. It's actually a good thing the blaze didn't happen during my stay... I once refused to get out of bed during a 7am fire drill and received a letter from the administration about my poor fire safety behavior, so it's possible I would've stayed in my room for the real thing. But come on... the drill was at 7am!

Received this incredibly creative promotional item for the release of the unrated Hills Have Eyes DVD. Yes, it's as sticky as it looks.
(sorry for the poor picture quality... my camera phone sucks)

One more thing today... gotta give props to my boss. Yesterday a co-worker sent out an e-mail with this article, calling it the best headline of the day.
Boss replied: "Must've been the ugly tree."

Buy.com-er Beware
This is a warning against Buy.com. Last week I placed an order for the new Tilly & the Wall cd and a book for my father, To Hate Like This Is To Be Happy Forever (since my sister went to Duke, he is now a hard-core fan). I received a package from them; instead of my items, they sent me the book Essential Psychopharmacology of Antipsychotics and Mood Stabilizers. With the cover creased. Which might be an interesting read given my recent Melatonin problem, but it's not what I wanted.
Now I'm in a fight with their customer service, since I'm trying to cancel my order but also want them to pay me the money it will cost to ship the book back. It's impossible to talk to them: fill out their online complaint form, and you get back a form letter ignoring your problem. And good luck trying to find a phone number (which I finally did, thanks to a complaint forum). All this because of their claim that all their books are 10% cheaper than Amazon's.
Serves me right for being so thrifty.

This Letter is Da Bomb
I haven't read The Da Vinci Code. I don't plan on reading it. I've heard it's engrossing but terribly written. I don't want to simply jump on the bandwagon (same reason why I haven't read a single Harry Potter book). I don't plan on seeing the movie. I wish the whole craze would just fade away.
Which is why I was so thrilled to see someone point this out in a letter to Roger Ebert in a recent Answer Man column:

One of the great ironies of Dan Brown's book is that it assaults you with its greatest piece of idiocy before you've even picked it up. The man's name is Leonardo, please. "da Vinci" (note the lower-case "d"), is NOT his family name, it's his hometown. He was born in Vinci, Italy, in 1452, in a time before Europeans had started surnaming themselves. Brown's error is on par with writing a book on the life of Christ called The Of Nazareth Code, or assuming St. Joan was the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. "Of Arc." It's amazing that anyone could take seriously the historical claims of a work whose title screams out, "penned by an historical ignoramus!"

What an amazing catch!

I've recently seen concerts from Joan Jett and the new Guns N Roses, and the rumors continue to swirl about Genesis reuniting. Which led me to ponder: which bands (of which all original members are still alive) would I most like to see reunite in their classic line-up and perform live? Here's the list I came up with:

1) GnR (with Matt Sorum on drums, not Steven Adler): Because I was obsessed with them growing up. Because my mom wouldn't let me see them in concert when I was a kid. And because I'm sure something insane would happen, either with each other or with the audience.
(As much as people say this will never happen, I think it will. Given Axl performing with Izzy lately and his reconciliation with Sorum, I predict they'll come back together when they are inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 2013. Which is just 7 years away…)

2) The Police: True, Sting now does plenty of Police material in his solo shows. But his touring bands do not capture the frantic energy of the original trio. And maybe they'll actually kill each other onstage.

3) Pink Floyd: Until recently, they would be #1 on my list. But after their lackluster showing at Live 8, and the fact that I will have seen live shows by both David Gilmour (with Richard Wright) and Roger Waters (with Nick Mason) this year, and the fact that tickets would be so astronomically priced, they slide a couple spots. Now if they managed to get Syd Barrett with them, that'd be another story.

4) Soundgarden: I was fairly late joining the alternative movement, instead listening to my 80s collection well into the 90s. I have since caught amazing shows by Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilots, Smashing Pumpkins, Alice in Chains, and most of the other big names… but I never got to Soundgarden.

5) The Smiths: Similar situation to the Police situation. Morrissey does the songs at his solo shows, but it's not the same.

Honorable mentions:
- Runaways (kind of complicated… outside of Joan and Lita, who gets in? Cherie? Vicki? Michael from The Bangles?)
- Stone Roses (see Police / Smiths, but for music I don't rate as highly)
- Talking Heads (ditto previous entry)
- Black Flag (because Tommy would kill me if I didn't put them on this list. I would enjoy the show, I'm sure)
- Genesis (I'm not that familiar with the music from the original line-up, but it would be cool to see Peter Gabriel and Phil Collins perform together. Collins says it will happen. We'll see.)
- Wham! (so lame I can't even believe I'm actually including them)
- STP (I saw them perform twice while still together, so it's not like I'm dying to see them again… but they are my favorite band of the 90s)

Some notes from visiting my parents over the weekend:
- Florida weather still sucks. Cloudy, rainy, 94 degrees and humid. And there's already a tropical storm heading their way.
- I hate being so pale. Went jet-skiing with my sister on a completely overcast day, put sunscreen on, but missed a spot and now have a painful, awkward sunburn on the front of my upper left arm.
- I keep getting better at deflecting my parents' unwanted conversations toward my sister. Lectures about why I should be careful on my planned vacation to Buenos Aires with my roommate turn into why my sister cannot go to Buenos Aires by herself. Questions about what my next career step is turn into questions about what continuing education classes might benefit my sister. She hates it, and I love doing it.
- My mom claimed to have a cure for my sleep troubles (in that it takes me at least an hour to fall asleep on most nights)... Melatonin. It does absolutely nothing.
- My grandma gave my sister and me a scare when we went to pick her up at her apartment. We could hear the TV blasting from the hall, but when we knocked, no answer. Rang the doorbell, no answer. Pounded on the door and called out her name, no answer. Finally I called her, and she picked up on the 4th ring. Said she hadn't heard us. I hate being irritated and relieved at the same time.
- I really need to go home more often than I do. I'm down to averaging 2 trips a year (this was my first since Thanksgiving). I'm very lucky that I have such a great relationship with my parents, and I do get to see them a lot because they come to New York often (my dad is at least every 6 weeks for business). But it's not enough. I wish my job was more flexible in allowing time off... or maybe I shouldn't be so reluctant to "waste" vacation days going home.

Still High & Dry
Radiohead's concerts at the Theater @ MSG are now 5 days away, and I have thus far been unsuccessful trying to snag a ticket without paying an outrageous amount. Since Jen had success snagging one after an online plea, I will do the same thing. Anyone have 1 (or 2!) extra tickets to the 6/13 show (Tuesday night) you would be willing to part with for a reasonable price? Or maybe we can work out an arrangement for some MTV perks? If so, e-mail me*... I'd be forever grateful (well maybe not forever, but very).

* Note: I'm leaving for Florida tonight to visit my parents for the weekend, but I will get back to you.

Wow, so apparently Diet Coke + Mentos = badass!

Bubble Trouble
I will never get any more work done at the office thanks to this.

For all you LSTT Jodie Sweetin fans (and I know you're still there, cause I get at least one keyword search for her every month), good news: she's back on TV!

Two quick 6/6/06 notes:
1) Curious that the Angels and Devils (er, Devil Rays) are playing a game tonight. Clever, Major League Baseball! *
2) For fans of damnation, here's a montage of all the times Jack Bauer says "Damn it!" in the first 4 seasons of 24.

* Update: Good conquered evil as the Angels blew out the Devil Rays.

Yesterday I received a very curious e-mail from a friend (who will remain anonymous) that read:
i dreamt about you last night. you had been missing for awhile, and then once people found you we started sharing an office. when i came to work in the morning, you started complaining to me about the new "boxer shorts surcharge tax."
And now I'm very confused. Any Freudians or dream experts out there who can decipher this?

Back from a long week in San Diego for this summer's Beach House (MTV Summer Sizzle '06, y'all!). Here are some random Cheers and Jeers from the trip.

Jeers to the people surrounding me on my flight out there. The woman next to me was carrying the contents of her purse in one hand as she rushed onto the plane, then couldn't believe she lost her credit card somewhere between the terminal bathroom and her seat (the 2nd time she'd lost a card at the airport in less than a week). After canceling the card and searching all through the flight, it turned up under her seat. The seniors sitting across the aisle couldn't stop laughing and repeating lines from the in-flight movie, Big Momma's House 2. The 40-year-old diagonally across from me was subtly picking his nose and eating it... and not real boogers, but the stringy snot stuff. Hideous.

Jeers to the audience member we were using as a contestant for a Date My Body stunt who, during rehearsal, got a raging boner in his tiny swimsuit.

Cheers to our producer for instructing the segment producer, in all sincerity, to make sure the kid doesn't get a boner during the live show because we can't show that on-air.

Jeers to Beach House casualties. We lost one VJ to food poisoning, one to fooallergieses, one to injuries sustained on the wave pool. Dangerous stuff out there.

Cheers to the housekeeper in my hotel room. She even rolled up my tube of toothpaste to make it easier to use. And yet I still forgot to tip her.

Cheers to SPF 45. No sunburn for me! No tan either, but I'm used to that.

Jeers to sketchy Mexican food. It wreaked havoc on my stomach. That'll teach me to eat at a place called Moose McGillycuddy's.

Cheers to In-N-Out Burger. Cause it's so good.

Jeers to desperate times calling for desperate measures. Former Pearl Jam / Candlebox drummer Dave Krusen was drumming for Cheyenne during her performance on Wednesday. My, how the mighty have fallen.

Cheers to causing Chris Brown discomfort. He made an entrance on a paraglider. With his microphone on, everyone on the crew could hear him writhe in pain, saying "Ow, my kids are disintegrating! Ow, I'll never have a family!" Good... we don't need him to be spawning.

Jeers to MTV's dubious hiring practices. In a room filled with college girls hired to book audience members, I overheard one girl ask the room "Wait, is there a 'c' in 'tickets'?"

Jeers to the homeless in San Diego. According to my boss, when he was using a public restroom one of them entered, pulled down his pants, and started washing his balls in the sink.

Cheers to faux pas. Ashlee Simpson dropped by on Friday, sporting her new look. Live on the air, VJDamien said, "Wow, you look great. This is probably the best I've ever seen you." Apparently he didn't know she'd had her nose and lips altered.* When I told him, he was mortified, sulking backstage and saying "I can't believe I did that... I didn't know!"
* Note: she does look much improved.

TRL Moment of the Week
On Wednesday we did a show in which we attempted (unsuccessfully) to talk to every single person in the audience. Some kids were shy, some were talkative but boring, and some were absolutely fascinating. Such as the girl who said that she was mad at her two friends because they had been making fun of her the previous night.
VJDamien: Why?
Girl: Because she couldn't pronounce the word espraing.
VJDamien: What?
Girl: Espraing.
VJDamien: Maybe because that's not a word.
Girl's Friend: She's saying sprain. Like you sprained your ankle.
VJDamien: Really? Say it again.
Girl: Espraing. Espraing. I'm not saying it right.
VJDamien: Well there's no e in there. And no g.
Girl: Espraing.
VJDamien (to girl's friends): Does your friend wear a helmet?

In a couple hours I'm off to Mission Beach, San Diego for this summer's MTV Beach House. Back home on June 3rd. Things get pretty hectic out there, so posts may be few and far between. Just giving a heads-up...

Two not-very-good photos from Alice in Chains @ Bowery:


The band in action, new singer and all.

Jerry Cantrell, stoic as ever. The crowd burst into repeated chants of "Jerry, Jerry." Well earned, no question about it.

They're putting hidden messages into 24 now? Let's hope Jack isn't really dead... those fictitious Chinese need a good ass-whooping.

(Click on the picture to make it easier to read)

No Excuses (But I Blame Alcohol)
I should write a very long, detailed post about my amazing adventure last night seeing Alice in Chains at Bowery Ballroom and then drinking with the band til the early morning at Plumm. But I am such a wreck today. Don't know why I even came to work. I've been told I look like I've been shipwrecked on a desert island for weeks. Guess I can't party like I used to.
I will say that the concert was excellent. The band was tight and seemed thrilled to be playing again. The set was short but included all the hits plus "Dam That River," "Love Hate Love," and other choice album cuts. New singer William DuVall is no Layne Staley, but he has a great voice and did the songs justice. And they were all totally cool and friendly at the afterparty.
I'll try to post photos later or tomorrow.

Get a Gob
Arrested Development was officially cancelled last week, but at least I have this to help ease the pain.

My Old Kentucky Blog has become a bit obsessed with covers lately. Today? 14 versions of The Beach Boys's "God Only Knows" (including the awful version from the movie Saved). Not my favorite topic, covering Beach Boys songs. But this site could come in handy the next time Tommy TSP and I make Covers Mix CDs (in retrospect, mine should have been much Much MUCH better than what I gave him).

Gnarly Barkley
Anyone who watches basketball on TNT knows that Charles Barkley has a neverending supply of amazing one-liners. This site collects almost all of them. Brilliant stuff.

A crazy Japanese game show called Silent Library has been making the rounds on the internet... but in case you haven't seen it, I recommend watching it.

TRL Moment of the Week
perennially unfunny Jamie Kennedy dropped by on Tuesday to promote his unfunny new MTV show, Blowin' Up. Surprisingly, he was unfunny.
His co-star (and co-guest) Stu Stone? Also unfunny.
They refused to rap on TRL, even though their show is about Jamie trying to become a hip-hop star, so we kept their visit short.
Very short.
Too short, in Jamie's mind.
After we said goodbye to them, I overheard Jamie complain to Stu "Man, that was too fast. We should've had more time out there. Too fast."
"It's okay. We were funny," reassured Stu.
Jamie looked at him for a second and said, in all sincerity, "We were funny!"
They were not.

The Fake Slim Shady
Wow, I'm so proud of my alma mater right now...

Well I blew another golden opportunity yesterday. Seth MacFarlane was on TRL to promote the season finale of Family Guy. I planned on asking him to record my cell phone's outgoing voicemail message as either Stewie or Peter (yes, it's a total geeky fanboy thing to do, but I don't care). But during the commercial break, I suddenly had to start cutting copy from the cue cards and adding in results of a poll… and by the time I finished, he had left. I can't keep blowing these chances… what else is the point of working here?

Maxim's Not 100
The new list of Maxim's Hot 100 has been revealed, and it's utterly ridiculous. I've always thought Eva Longoria was overrated. But Kristen Bell at #11? Fergie higher than Shakira? Kelly Clarkson higher than Brooke Burke? Avril Lavigne higher than Emilie de Ravin? Sarah Silverman higher than Evangeline Lilly? No Rosario Dawson, Rihanna, or Kate Beckinsale on the list at all? What a disaster.

This video of Pete Doherty shooting a syringe full of blood at an MTV camera is one of the craziest things I've seen in a long time. What is still doing walking the streets? Why is he not in jail or a drug rehab? How much longer can he live like this? Simply unbelievable.

Stupid Crappy Camera Phone
Who's the woman on the right? Jamie-Lynn Sigler. The one on the left? Shannon Elizabeth (who arrived with Lance Bass, of all people). Like me, both of them were rocking out to "Sweet Child Of Mine" last night. And sadly, this is the only photo that came close to looking like anything because the fucking camera in my fucking phone is awful. So I apologize for the lack of photos of Axl and the band.
I can tell you that, by the standards of this B-Level GnR, last night's show was pretty awesome. Axl's voice was strong when it wasn't drowned out by the band (the audio guy sucked), and the band sounded good, although it's very telling that it takes 7 current members to recreate the sound of the departed original 4. They hit the stage around 11:10pm and played until 1:30am, getting through most of Appetite* and other assorted hits mixed in with 4 new songs. Axl was in a great mood, with lots of smiles and banter, and even messed with the audience by saying that Izzy had called him to wish him a good show, leading everyone to believe Izzy would come out (he did not). As he's done every night, Sebastian Bach joined Axl for "My Michelle." The crowd loved every minute of it, even singing along during a bizarre guitar solo of Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful."
Yes, this concert was nothing compared to the glory days, but at least I fulfilled my dream of seeing Axl perform live. Hopefully the next time I do it, he'll be joined by Slash, Duff, Izzy, and Matt.

* Quick side story: when Appetite for Destruction came out in 1987, I was in 3rd grade. I went to Camelot Music in the Coral Square Mall with my mom to buy the cassette. At the cash register, the cashier said to my mom "You know this has curse words in it, right?" My mom looked at me and said "It does?"
"Only in one song," I lied.
"No, they're in almost every song," the clerk interjected. So my mom refused to let me get the tape, and I had to copy it from a friend.
To this day I cannot fathom why the cashier would do something like that, except to go on some lame power trip. And were that chain still in business, I would never again shop at a Camelot store.

Congratulations to my sister (whose screenname has been changed to protect her) for finally embracing technology, if not vocabulary.
LSTT-Sis: you there
Greeneneon: yup
Greeneneon: what's up?
LSTT-Sis: just testing to see if this works
LSTT-Sis: my first IM
Greeneneon: congratulations
LSTT-Sis: I'm officially a techny
Greeneneon: you mean a techie?
LSTT-Sis: whatever-gotta run

While Axl and Fergie are starting to look very much alike, I hope that he doesn't sound much like her.

I'll find out in about 11 hours...

Yet another big star is playing a small venue in NYC (or in this case, a series of small venues). Joan Jett is playing 4 nights in a row in the beginning of June, moving from Bowery Ballroom to Southpaw to CBGB's to North Six. You can get presale tix here; the username is joan and the password is jett. I just got tix to the CBGB's show, which means I'm doing pretty well: yes to RHCP @ Irving, GnR@ Hammerstein, AIC @ Bowery, and Jett @ CBGB's; no to Pearl Jam @ Irving, Radiohead @ MSG Theatre, and Sonic Youth @ CBGB's.

By the way, it's about 55 hours until my GnR show (depending on what time they get on stage). Here's a short recap of their opener last night.

Congratulations to me for making* New York magazine's list of The Influentials!

* (Well it's not really me, but enough people send me mail thinking I'm him that I have no problem taking credit for it)

TRL Moment of the Week
On Wednesday we had 3 Victoria's Secret supermodels on the show: Gisele, Adriana, and Karolina. Since they're paid to make anything look sexy, we took boring products and made the girls model them. Adriana had a fishing magazine, Karolina had oatmeal (sorry no photo), and Gisele had fertilizer. Lots of fun, those girls.

Not nearly as fun were the AFI fans who invaded Times Square to catch the world premiere of the band's new "Miss Murder" video in Nokia Theater. Too cool for TRL on any other day, they spent their time booing other TRL artists, heckling the VJ's, chanting in unison, and looking depressed underneath pounds of foundation and eyeliner. As I was prepping a fan to help interview the band, another fan growled at me, "Do you even like AFI?" Um, no, I actually have taste (although some find my taste questionable... see #6).

All you Scrubs fans (our numbers are dwindling but I know you're out there), show your love by ordering this Dr. Acula t-shirt.

It's been a long time, but I've decided to bring back an old favorite: Strangest Keyword Searches That Led People To My Site. Here goes:
#3: don mattingly song myspace
- Is this a song about Don Mattingly that's posted on MySpace? Did Mattingly record a song that's posted on MySpace? Did Mattingly record a song about MySpace? Too many questions...
#2: getting a colonic in thailand
- Of all the things one can do in that country, getting a colonic should be waaaaaaaaaaaaay at the bottom of anyone's list.
#1: boner express
- No comment. Although I hope the person who did this search isn't a friend of mine.

What's most embarrassing about this: that Dennis Haskins will always be referred to as Mr. Belding? That he doesn't mind, even when someone screws up the name? Or his karaoke singing?

Can't Stop (the ringing)
A co-worker yesterday hooked me up with a last-minute ticket to catch the Red Hot Chili Peppers at Irving Plaza. How amazing to see a band like them, at this point in their career, playing an intimate venue. And I had a blast. The only problem is, the show was loud. Painfully loud. To the point where I had to leave my prime spot about 25 feet from the stage to stand in the back near the bar. My ears are still ringing. It's embarrassing to say, but maybe I'm getting too old for a show like this. Is 26 old? Didn't The Sopranos just say that 26 is the new 21?
Anyway, getting back to the show, they played for about 90 minutes, with a lot of new material, which sounds like a lot of their old material. They peppered the set with hits, including "Can't Stop," "Soul to Squeeze," "By the Way," "Scar Tissue," and "Give It Away." John did a fine solo rendition of the Bee-Gee's "How Deep Is Your Love." Flea attempted a solo rendition of Neil Young's "Needle and Damage Done," but gave up about 15 seconds into it. The band was on fire, although it drowned out a lot of the vocals. They are also nothing but energy, with Anthony spinning like a top, Flea's head constantly bopping and dripping with sweat, Chad pounding away on the drums like Animal, John tearing up the guitar. Their sound isn't as good live as on their albums, but they still put on a helluva show.
As for celebrity sightings, the only one I glimpsed was Wanda Sykes. And I can't stand her. Oh well.

I was at a bar Saturday night watching the Yankees game with the sound off. Fortunately the closed-captioning was on, so I was able to "hear" the commentators make this brilliant comment about the Rangers stranding Phil Nevin on 2nd base after a leadoff double:
"Usually after a leadoff extra-base hit, particularly a double or triple but certainly a homer, the team is able to score a run."
I see. So what extra-base hit makes the situation not particularly true? And it's only usually that a run scores in a leadoff double?
Sometimes I wonder how viewers survive without announcers and their brilliant insights.

TRL Moment of the Week
On Wednesday, Tom Cruise kicked off his trek around NYC outside of TRL. 10 minutes for the show, I went outside with the hosts and crew, where we found thousands of fans eagerly waiting for Cruise. As we were outside, one of our hosts tried to interact with the crowd, but got absolutely no response. Frustrated, VJ started audibly complaining that everyone looked like they were sedated on drugs. Once Cruise did arrive and waved to everyone from the top of his SUV, the crowd went nuts.
Later, backstage inside, VJ was talking to our guest Jeremy Piven and starts describing the crowd outside as full of "crazy cult people." Then VJ compared Cruise's arrival and wave to the crowd to Hitler in Nazi Germany.
Yeah, that's not the best topic of conversation with a Jewish celebrity who, having worked in Hollywood for 20 years, may be friends with Cruise or associated with Scientology. And there's no reason to get upset that people weren't responding to you outside. You're an MTV VJ. He's Tom Cruise. 'Nuff said.

Speaking of Cruise, he showed off some crazy dance moves on 106 & Park.

And speaking of crazy dance moves, Kanye caused quite a stir when he did the "Carlton dance" to "Take On Me" during his set at Coachella. Apparently it's not the first time.

The video for Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" is on VH1 Classic right now. It reminds me that when I was a kid, I thought that the real Madonna and Billy Idol were making out in it. I had a huge crush on Madonna back then, so for a long time (at least in youth time) I hated Billy Idol out of jealousy. Looking at it now, the actors in the video look nothing like their real counterparts. So Billy, you're off the hook.

Warm Body in the TRL Graveyard
Had this cold open approved for today's show:

(CLOSE-UP ON JAMIE FOXX ARM-WRESTLING. WE CAN'T SEE WHO IS OPPONENT IS, BUT HE IS OBVIOUSLY STRUGGLING)

JAMIE
-DAMN, WHAT YOU BEEN EATIN' ON THAT ISLAND?

(PULL OUT TO REVEAL HIS OPPONENT IS MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ FROM "LOST." SHE FINALLY SLAMS HIS HAND DOWN)

MICHELLE
-THAT ALL YOU GOT?

JAMIE
-OH PLEASE GIRL, I LET YOU WIN

MICHELLE
-WANNA GO AGAIN?

JAMIE
-NO CAN DO
-TRL STARTS NOW

Then it turned out that we need to be selling our big online show (as in we've got live content running on both TV and on trl.mtv.com today) in the open, so this got killed.

Speaking of killed (don't read if you haven't watched last night's Lost and plan to!!!!), great job by the show of killing off 2 major characters. Nicely done! And for once, the rumors got it right.

One final TRL note... Time Out New York, thanks for promoting Friday's show in this week's issue:
Total Request Live 3:30–4:30pm, MTV
True, Disney World is awfully popular with victorious Super Bowl quarterbacks, but if we were about to graduate from high school we’d rather go somewhere less tame. Be that as it may, the kids who attend TRL’s graduation event at the Orlando theme park probably won’t look their gift horse in the mouth. Fall Out Boy, Omarion, Teddy Geiger and the Pussy Cat Dolls provide the entertainment for the grand finale of the show’s annual high-school week.
Next time, please get your facts right. The show isn't happening at Disney World. That event was Grad Nite 2006, which doesn't have anything to do with TRL except that we filmed there. The Pussycat Dolls have nothing to do with it. We're actually running that package today, not tomorrow.
But again, we appreciate the love.

Gotta give credit to SportsGuy for suggesting I watch these clips... they're pretty damn good.
- Bad NY Jets draft picks
- Mike Tyson wanto to eat children
- A-Rod waxing it

Larry Charles has allegedly been hired to direct the movie adaptation of Motley Crue's book The Dirt. Larry Charles, who is best known for writing for other popular foursome Seinfeld. Should he decide to model the movie after that show, I wonder which band member would correspond to which character? I think I'd break it down like this:
Jerry - Nikki Sixx: the center of the group who takes things most seriously, does the most work, yet gets less acclaim than the others. Although he does score hot chicks.
Kramer - Tommy Lee: the unpredictable, loose cannon known to have crazy side-projects and a crazy sex life.
Elaine - Vince Neil: the pretty one, prone to getting into fights and dancing awkwardly.
George - Mick Mars: the ugly one nobody wants to be around.

Or maybe he'll model it after another foursome he's written for, Entourage.
Eric - Nikki Sixx: responsible for keeping the gang together and stuck with a lot of the shit work, but still reaps plenty of benefits.
Vince - Tommy Lee: the most popular one.
Johnny - Vince Neil: seemed much cooler 10 years ago, now comes off as just lame. Ponders questionable cosmetic surgery.
Turtle - Mick Mars: the ugly one nobody wants to be around.

Feel free to agree or disagree.

Whew, good thing Pete Doherty cleared up the whole injecting-heroin-into-a-passed-out-teenager thing. I was really concerned for a bit. But now it's all good.

I heard an interesting rumor that Guns N Roses will be musical guest on Saturday Night Live on May 13. They will be in town, playing the Hammerstein shows...
If it's true, you heard it here first.
If it's not, forget I said anything.

Here's a cool site that focuses on backmasking, or hearing hidden messages when you play songs in reverse. The Pink Floyd, Zeppelin, and Beatles ones are famous. But the Britney Spears one is creepy, I love the Eminem one, and who knew even Weird Al would get in on the act?

TRL Moment of the Week
Given the eclectic group of guests we had booked for Wednesday's show, this is how I wanted to write the cut open. Alas, it became the newest resident of the TRL Graveyard.

-TODAY'S TRL IS A WHO'S WHO OF... WHO?
-ZAC EFRON?
-ASHLEY TISDALE?
-ANGELS & AIRWAVES?
-ACE YOUNG?

-DON'T KNOW THESE PEOPLE?
-NOBODY DOES... BUT YOU WILL SOON
-TRL STARTS NOW!

Note: Turns out that our audience actually does know, and like, these people, particularly Zac and Ashley of High School Musical fame. And I'm one of about 7 people in the U.S. that doesn't watch American Idol. I guess I'm out of it.

Two quick links of note:
1) For all you people who got excited about the Saved by the Bell reunion series, alas it's not to be.
2) Funny list of the 50 Worst Things Ever to Happen to Music.

What is the deal with all these huge bands playing tiny venues in NYC next month? GnR at Hammerstein, Red Hot Chili Peppers at Irving Plaza, Pearl Jam at Irving Plaza, Alice in Chains at Bowery (well, I guess AIC aren't technically huge anymore)... and I want tickets for all of them. Any kind readers want to help me out?

Did you ever get to see "Conspiracy Theory Rock," the controversial SNL TV Funhouse cartoon that only aired once? Expecting to see it Saturday night during the best-of TV Funhouse SNL? Sorry, it won't be there. But you can watch it here.
(Note: it takes forever to load)

Brett Favre has made it official: he's returning as quarterback of the Packers for the 2006 season. I guess he's gunning for that final record after all: Most Times Raising His Arms to Celebrate Throwing a Touchdown Pass That Brings His Team Within a 17-Point Deficit.

Remember that terrible (at least in my opinion) AmEx commercial from M. Night Shyamalan that ran during the Oscars? Here's a much better one from a much better director, Wes Anderson.

For all you Napoleon Dynamite fans (are there any left? Or is that so 2004?), here's Peluca, the original short film.

Big congrats to LastStop favorites (and good friends of TSP) Tilly and the Wall for making Sunday's New York Times Playlist. Here's what was written:
Tilly and the Wall
Earnest, passionate and enthusiastic. I love the intertwined call-and-response vocals, and the combination of pop, folk, lo-fi and electro rock. On its last album, this five-piece band from Omaha held up its layered melodies with innovative percussion that came in the form of the tap-dancing stunner Jamie Williams. Its new album, "Bottoms of Barrels" (Team Love, to be released May 23), includes a rhythm section, though it still has plenty of space in the arrangements for the slashing guitars and walls of vocals to shine through. Variety is the key here, whether in a foot-stomping rock song, a slow ballad or even an electro-acoustic thumper like "The Freest Man." That song could be a look back to the 1980's, with synth and chorused guitar lines draped in black, but the vocals offer hope: "Don't drown yourself in all your old regret/ Because that heaviness will steal away your breath."

Can't wait to hear the new album, can't wait for them to perform again in NYC, and I wish them nothing but success.

Okay, Ben, not to get into another baseball argument with you, but since you brought it up…
Let's play a game. I’ll give you three players’ vital baseball statistics. You try to guess who they each belong to. Ready?

#1:
AB: 8,385
R: 1,318
H: 2,386
2B: 403
HR: 282
RBI: 1,061
AVG: .285
All-Star Years: 10
MVP: 1984
Gold Gloves: 9

#2:
AB: 7,003
R: 1,007
H: 2,153
2B: 442
HR: 222
RBI: 1,099
AVG: .307
All-Star Years: 6
MVP: 1985 (2nd in 1986)
Gold Gloves: 9

#3:
AB: 7,244
R: 1,071
H: 2,304
2B: 414
HR: 207
RBI: 1,085
AVG: 318
All-Star Years: 10
MVP: 0 (2nd in 1992)
Gold Gloves: 6

Give up? First guy is Ryne Sandberg. Next is good ol’ Donnie Baseball. And finally, Kirby Puckett. None of the three have reached any of the plateaus you think is necessary for entry into the HOF, yet Sandberg and Puckett are both in the Hall. Mattingly is not. But their numbers are pretty damn similar, aren’t they? So why them and not Mattingly?
Now I know what you’re going to say: second base and outfield are tougher positions to play than first base. Yes, that statement is true, and both Sandberg and Puckett played their respective positions brilliantly (both had career fielding percentages of .989). So then let’s factor in the fact that Mattingly is the best-fielding first-baseman of all time, with a career fielding percentage of .996. Even better, his career fielding percentage is the greatest of any position player of all time. So even though he played the easiest position, he did it better than anyone else in the history of the game.
Oh, and let’s not forget the fact that he holds two pretty impressive major league records: consecutive games with HR (8), and grand slams in season (6).

Once again the MTA continues to boggle my mind. Signs are posted in the 72nd St. station that the 2 & 3 lines (usually express) will run local headed southbound every weekend from now until Fall (no weekend express service for 5 months? Come on!). However, get on a train and you’ll hear that the 1 trains (usually local) run express headed southbound after 34th St. What the fuck? I’d (somewhat) understand if they need to completely shut down the express tracks to fix them. But that's obviously not the case. Why switch the lines? Where exactly is the construction south of 34th St.? It make no sense to me… can anyone explain this?

TRL Moment of the Week
It's been a rough week around here… well, rough in that a bunch of small, annoying things happened all in a row. Like Monday, my elevator bank malfunctioned so that every elevator stopped at every floor in both directions. Sucks when you're on the 23rd floor. Tuesday I had to go to a screening of United 93. I thought I'd be able to handle it better than any of my co-workers, but the film (while good on a technical level) kept me queasy throughout. Wednesday we had our bi-annual (bi-ennial? I always get those confused… I'm talking about the twice-a-year kind) fire drill, which means everyone from the floor gathers in the hall for a 15-minute lecture on fire procedures. Boring to begin with, but the lecturer pronounces "chimney" as "chiminey." Which gets very funny when he says it 5 times in a minute. Trust me. Or try saying it out loud. Anyway, I always start laughing and then get uncomfortable and try to stifle the laughter, but that just makes it worse. It's forever tainted.
As for the actual show moment of the week, I guess I'd have to give it to Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas. Supporting Earth Day, the group pulled up in a 2006 Honda Civic Hybrid. He gets out and praises the car for it's amazing energy-saving features, such as getting "59 gallons to the mile." Honda must be praising themselves for paying him millions of dollars to endorse the vehicle. Oh, and one other good thing... we had purchased a bunch of chicken from KFC for a stunt yesterday, but we had to kill it for time, which meant the chicken was mine... all mine! (And some for VJDamien)

It seems that the hot trend this summer is for 80s bands to team up for tours: Def Leppard and Journey, Blondie and the (new) Cars, Poison and Cinderella, Chicago and Huey Lewis & the News... now here's a story about the Bangles and the Go-Go's are teaming up for a reality show. Personally I think the last one would make the best concert. But maybe we'll have to wait until 2007 for that.

P.S. For all you hardcore Poison fans, here's a chance to become their roadie for a day. And yes, sadly, I entered.

Update: Eeep, it seems I forgot about two pairings: Foreigner & Styx, which makes some sense, and Air Supply & Billy Ocean, which might be the most pathetic concert of the new millenium. I apologize for the oversight.

Looks like someone has been hitting the sacramental wine a little too hard...

This DVD has been lying around the office, and the first line in the back-cover description is one of the most enticing I've ever seen:

Soldier of fortune John Seeger (Steven Seagal) is the best in the business... the business of kicking ass!

If anything can get me to watch a direct-to-DVD Steven Seagal movie, it's that.

I have written more than 1,000 posts on this site since its inception. But I feel that my readers could know more about me. So here are some random facts about me... those of you who have read my Friendster or MySpace profile will be familiar with some, but not all, of them.
- Eating raw tomatoes makes me gag...
- I'm 6'3" and love being tall except when I have to use a shower whose head is lower than I am...
- I think Don Mattingly deserves to be in the Hall of Fame...
- I've been making an effort to say "said" instead of "was like," but thus far it has been an unsuccessful transition...
- My biggest fear is that when you die, you are still conscious and are stuck in black forever without being able to move or speak...
- I write for MTV but watch VH1 Classic...
- I've been to a Super Bowl (XXIII, Bengals vs. 49ers) and a World Series (2003, Yankees vs. Marlins)...
- When I was younger I would set my alarm clock to wake up in the middle of the night and watch movies on HBO that were labeled as having SSC (strong sexual content)...
- I have Peter Pan Syndrome...
- I think the Beach Boys are better than the Beatles...
- People cracking their knuckles (or any body part) is my biggest pet peeve...
- I love to travel, but never seem to have the time to go to the places I want to visit...
- I never drank soda in elementary school because the bubbles burned my tongue and throat...
- Out of the approximately 2,000 comics I've collected, I've read less than 10%, but I won't let my parents throw them away...
- I think "The Simpsons" would have been the greatest TV show of all time if it had gone off the air about 6 years ago, but now it's unwatchable...
- I'm an excellent liar...
- In my lifetime I've listened to Def Leppard's "Hysteria" more than any other album...
- I took piano lessons for 12 years and cello for 9 weeks...
- For some reason people always open up to me, which is great because I love listening to people's stories and problems, and it lets me gather dirt on everyone...
- I'm an agnostic...
- I can count cards...
- I cannot wait to get GnR's "Chinese Democracy," even though Axl is the only original member left and he's probably clinically insane...
- I'm an animal lover...
- No matter how many people try to tell me otherwise, I don't think the U.S. version of "The Office" is funny at all...
- I prefer cold weather to warm, even though I grew up in South Florida...
- The most embarrassing song on my iPod is probably "Mandy" by Barry Manilow...
- As a kid I had phases where I was a pyromaniac and a shoplifter, but my parents busted me on both counts...
- I have a fairly high tolerance for pain but low tolerance for tickling...
- I've never been arrested but I've gotten 2 speeding tickets...
That should cover it... maybe I'll add some more after the next 1,000 posts.

Mega Winner
I won $17 in the Mega Millions lotto on Friday. On $5 worth of Quick Picks, I got 3 numbers on one line ($7) and 2 numbers plus the Mega Ball on another ($10). Now I don't know what to do for the next drawing, worth $265 million. Should I not play because I used up my luck? Or am I on a hot streak? Should I consider the store where I bought the tickets lucky, or should I move on since it already sold me a winning ticket? What would you do?

No Longer Estranged
Great news (at least potentially) for New York Guns N Roses fans... they are scheduled to play 2 nights at Hammerstein to prepare for their summer playing European Festivals. Yes, it's not the true GnR... only Axl (and Tommy Stinson and Dizzy and whoever else is in the group these days). And yes, I would not be surprised at all to find that the shows are cancelled*. But since I never got to see them in their prime, I am still excited at the prospect at finally seeing Axl perform live, especially at a smaller venue.
While we're on the subject of GnR, for those who missed it, here's a great April Fool's fake review of "Chinese Democracy" written by Chuck Klosterman.

*Note: The last time GnR toured (back in 2002), some friends and I bought tickets for a Friday night show in Philly. I took the train down from NYC after work that day, and my friends and I got to the arena about 9:30. Mixmaster Mike (the opening act) had just hit the stage. 90 minutes later, he was still playing, and the crowd was getting anxious. They started to boo, curse, and throw things (including a full cup of soda, launched from the balcony, that hit one of my friends and exploded all over him). As the crowd got more rowdy, people started filing out. I, however, remained filled with hope, assuring everyone that Axl was simply being Axl and he'd come out eventually. My hopes were dashed when they announced over the P.A. system that Axl had never left NY from the previous night's show at the Garden. And that's when the real rioting began. People threw chairs, smashed the soundboard, got into fights, set fires to the merch booths. Just as my friends and I got outside, the riot police stormed past us, batons and shields ready for action. The following morning, the label cancelled the remainder of the tour.
Should I have learned a lesson from this? Yes. Should I be pissed at Axl and not want to give him any more of my money? Yes. Yet I will. I can't help it.

TRL Moment of the Week
Wednesday we began our experiment of running TRL live both on TV and online. That means that while we're doing the live TV show, there is separate content streaming exclusively on MTV Overdrive. It's a fascinating experiment, and to my knowledge we're the first television show to really do this. Sure, it's a bitchload more work, as we're basically running 2 shows simultaneously, and without more money or more manpower. But at the same time, there is something cool about being at the forefront of technology.
Of course, this is after one show. We'll do another one in a couple weeks, then have them more frequently until we're doing it every single show. By then, I may have a nervous breakdown. Only time will tell.

I just realized something... why the uproar over cartoon depictions of Mohammad? "South Park" already did it.
And by the way, last night's 2nd part of the "South Park" attack on "Family Guy" was disappointing. Although I could watch them do an entire parody episode of "Family Guy" and not get tired of it.

Chill Factor
Updating a previous story, in the 5 games since Cliff Floyd guaranteed a home run, he has hit a robust .210 with 0 home runs, 3 RBI's, and 3 strikeouts. He was even replaced for one game by benchwarmer extraordinaire Victor Diaz. Nicely done, Cooler.

Here's a great link my co-worker sent me: the bottom of the 10th inning of Game 6 of the 1986 World Series (a.k.a. the infamous Buckner play), as played by the classic Nintendo game RBI Baseball.

Wow, for once David Spade made me laugh. But really, it was Vin Diesel's fault.

P.S. In college I also had to read Sidney Lumet's book Making Movies, and it didn't boost my confidence one bit.

Milk Gone Bad
Watch this PETA ad, and you won't be surprised to know it was banned from airing during the Super Bowl. So disturbing!

"24" Bottles of Beer...
Personally I think the "24" drinking game would work better with "I promise" or "there's no time" or "you'll just have to trust me," but if he says "damn it" works, then so be it.

Update: I guess any rumors about Jack Bauer getting killed were false... Sutherland just signed on to do the show for another 3 years... and for a cool $40 million.

Saturday night I experienced one of the worst things that can happen when you're out drinking at a bar. Think you know what it is? I'll give you 3 guesses.
1) You started hitting on a beautiful girl and her meathead boyfriend kicked the shit out of you?
- Wrong. Try again.
2) You got so drunk that you pissed your pants in front of everyone?
- Nope. One more guess.
3) You hung your leather jacket up on a hook under the bar, then discovered when you picked it up at the end of the night that someone had vomited all over it, even getting some inside the pockets and up the sleeves?
- Bingo!
The jacket is beyond repair. Not that I'd want to wear it anymore… it's tainted. So if anyone knows of a good place to get a discounted leather jacket in NYC, please let me know.

Update: Seems I'm not the only person who's had vomit problems lately. Paris Hilton and I are so much alike...

Here is a list of the 100 Unsexiest Men in the World. Can't really argue with the top 3. Although how does Ron Howard rank worse than his brother Clint? And where are William Hung, the lead singer of Toto, Bill Nye the Science Guy, Weird Al, Robert Wuhl, Rupert from "Survivor," Steve Buscemi, Kip Dynamite, and many others? Not the best list...

Someday (I Will Understand)... But Not For a Very Long Time
We're all familiar with the statue of Britney Spears giving birth... and I know we've all seen the picture on the left. But this is the first shot I've seen of the rear view, with little Sean's head popping out. Does "ew" sum it up? No, not really.

A Double-Shot from the TRL Graveyard
Pink dropped by on Wednesday to talk about her new CD. I pitched the following cold open:

(PINK IS STANDING IN THE OFFICE HALLWAY. DAMIEN PULLS UP TO HER RIDING A BIG-WHEEL BICYCLE)

DAMIEN
-HEY PINK
-I HEAR YOU'RE INTO GUYS ON BIKES

PINK
-SORRY DAMIEN
-BUT I'M ALREADY MARRIED

DAMIEN
-PFFT, WHATEVER
-YOUR LOSS

(HE STARTS PEDALING, TURNS THE CORNER AND RIDES OFF)

PINK
-TRL STARTS NOW

Unfortunately that one fell through. But when Pink arrived, she had her husband, motocross legend Carey Hart, with her. So I quickly revised it to this:

(PINK IS STANDING IN THE OFFICE HALLWAY. CAREY PULLS UP TO HER RIDING A BIG-WHEEL BICYCLE)

CAREY
-HEY BABE
-HOW YOU LIKE MY NEW RIDE?

PINK
-WOW CAREY, THAT'S HOT

CAREY
-YEAH, IT'S PRETTY BAD-ASS
-I'M GONNA CRUISE AROUND FOR A BIT
-PICK YOU UP AFTER THE SHOW

PINK
-LOVE YA

(SHE BENDS DOWN AND GIVES HIM A KISS, AND TURNS THE CORNER AND RIDES OFF)

PINK
-TRL STARTS NOW

Pink liked it, but Carey didn't want to appear on camera, so no go on that one either.
At least she made up for the disappointment during her interview by using the phrase "dutch oven" and admitting that she doesn't know the square root of 144.

Cold As Ice
On Tuesday, David Wright and Cliff Floyd of the New York Mets dropped by the show, during which time Floyd guaranteed that he would hit a home the following game (and Wright hinted that the team was on-track to go 162-0). What happened? Not only did Floyd not hit a home run, but the Mets blew their lead in the 9th and lost the game in the 10th. And they can thank The Cooler, a.k.a. the other TRL writer who earned his nickname by costing the TRL staff a collective bundle of cash during last summer's Beach House in Las Vegas. Being a big Mets fan, they let him produce the players… and I knew, the second he came in contact with them, their season would be over. Just you watch… their fall from grace should be spectacular!

Speaking of people who look alike, am I the only person who thought that David on last night's episode of "Lost" was Howie Mandel? Turns out in fact it was Evan Handler(the guy on the right... or is it?) Come on... how can you tell them apart? Without the flavor saver, that is.

Speaking of last night's TV, I think I stand alone in finding the "South Park" parody of "Family Guy" spot-on and very amusing.

Who is that blurry guy in the photo? It's David Gilmour, performing 20 feet in front of me at Radio City last night (yes, my camera phone is that bad even from such short distances). Pink Floyd is one of my all-time favorite bands. And while I'd of course rather see them reunite, at least I got half of the group with Gilmour and Rick Wright (plus Roxy Music guitarist Phil Manzanera thrown in for good measure). The first half of the show consisted of the 10 tracks from his new album On an Island. Decent music, nothing too exciting... until a surprise appearance by David Crosby and Graham Nash on a few songs. After the intermission, he kicked into high gear. Great eclectic mix of Floyd hits, fan favorites, and even a Syd Barrett solo song. I got goosebumps during "Time," which definitely makes my list of Top 10 Songs of All Time. The full version of "Echoes" blew me away and included a killer laser / light show. I can't thank my friend for the ultimate hook-up of 3rd-row seats to this show.
The guy in front of me had a much better camera than I did, and I gave him my e-mail address. Hopefully he'll send me some of his photos... if so, I'll post them.

Here's the setlist:
First half: Castellorizon, This Heaven, Smile, Red Sky At Night, Take A Breath, Then I Close My Eyes, On An Island*, The Blue*, Pocketful Of Stones, Where We Start.
Second half: Shine On You Crazy Diamond*, Wearing The Inside Out, Dominos, Fat Old Sun, Breathe/Time/Breathe (Reprise), High Hopes, Echoes.
Encores: Wish You Were Here, Find The Cost Of Freedom*, Comfortably Numb.
* = with Crosby and Nash

Chris' Music Snobbery may be, well, a little snobby. But it's also one hell of a great source for info on live music, especially for New Yorkers: reviews, setlists, photos, interviews, etc. The post on the first 2 nights of the Gorillaz shows at the Apollo actually made me just check Ticketmaster for tickets... and to my surprise, they had 8th row center aisle seats available for Wednesday night. Still not gonna go, but maybe one of you wants to...

I'm Wide Awake, It's Annoying
Oh man, I'm so friggin' tired today. After a rough weekend of late nights, I figured I'd get a great night's rest last night. In bed at 11:30, enough to get a full 8 hours. But no, instead I lay awake for hours. You know how it goes… start on your back… eventually turn over onto your stomach… for some reason have Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie" running through your head… start thinking "don't look at the clock"… then you look at the clock… turn the radio on just in case they're playing the best song of all time, but it's only "Under My Thumb"… get up to get a drink of water… try sleeping on top of the sheets just to shake things up… start thinking about how tired you'll be the next day… repeat "calm down, relax, sleep" in your mind… get back under the sheets… look at the clock and get frustrated that it's already 2:23am… consider getting up to watch TV but don't just in case you're on the verge of falling asleep and you don't want to have to start from scratch… try holding your breath thinking maybe you can pass out… and so on.

(And yes, people, don't think I realize one of you will post a comment suggesting that the next time I can't fall asleep, I should just read this post… so don't bother)

Friday night I finally went to Webster Hall for my first Flaming Lips concert... yes, I'm amazed as well that it took me so long. Definitely worth the wait, though. The band sounded great and looked like they were having fun, the crowd went crazy, and I had a fantastic view from the VIP balcony (thanks for the hook-up, Jared). It's incredible how spending $100 on confetti and balloons can add so much to the experience. My only knock against the show is that they didn't play more songs. The show lasted an hour and a half, but only 14 songs (2 of which were covers). They have such a deep catalog... easily could've doubled that.
Wayne promised that they'll come back to NYC for more shows in bigger venues for all the fans who missed out this weekend... already I can't wait. And everyone make sure to pick up the new album on Tuesday. Oh, and if you haven't seen their new video, you should watch... it's hilarious.

Here's the setlist:
Ta! Da!
Race for the Prize
Bohemian Rhapsody
Free Radicals
Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, Part 1
Cow Jam
Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, Part 2
The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song
The Gash
The W.A.N.D.
She Don't Use Jelly
Do You Realize

Encore: Love Yer Brain
War Pigs

And some photos:


The start of the insanity. As I tossed the balloons over the balcony, I was able to get closer.


Although not as close as the camera on Wayne's mic.


Hulk Hands during "The Gash." Man, is that a fantastic song.


The balloon gun. Almost ready to pop... almost...


It popped.


Yes, a good time was had by band and crowd alike.
(Note, if you can make it out, that Wayne's dual-neck guitar has an iPod built into it... it's just below his right hand. Never seen that before...)