The Times They Are A-Becoming Quite Different
This weekend, while home in Florida with my parents for Thanksgiving, I randomly found my mother's high school and college yearbooks. Quite a discovery... not quite on par with King Tut's tomb, but exciting nonetheless. I wanted to share a few things from those books. Sadly I only have my crappy cell phone here with which to take photos, so I didn't take that many, and the ones I did look like crap. But still...

This is her high school senior portrait. I cannot get over how young she looks. And that pixie hairstyle threw me off too. How adorable is she? I have to say, after browsing through the entire book, I think on the whole that high school girls were better looking in the mid-60s then when I went to school in the mid-90s. If only I had a time machine...

Almost every girl who signed the high school book used the word "sweet" (or some variation) to describe my mom. But there were also some creepy signatures from men, including this one. In case you can't read it, it says:
You sculpt well. But apparently you do everything well. Come to my office someday. Lenny.
Ew. My mom has no recollection of this guy. But his note, along with many others, led my sister to ask my mom if she was a slut in high school. Her verbatim answer was, "In high school? No." Neither my sister nor I could bear to ask the obvious follow-up.
My favorite part of the yearbook, which I could not get a decent photo of, was in the section filled with various quotes that represented the era. One of them was "Vietnam, here we come!" That was in 1965. Hindsight, eh?

This is from her college yearbook. She went to Cornell (which you can obviously tell from the headline of this photo), and somehow my mom was asked to appear in this Canada Dry ad shot on campus. She's the one on the top right. I've never seen her look so tough ever before, nor do I expect to see her that tough ever again. But it's nice to know she can do it.

Gobble Gobble-dygook
This site will be on hiatus for the rest of the week, as I am heading down to Florida to spend Thanksgiving with my family. And in the spirit of that holiday, here's a pretty funny Thanksgiving video made by the good people at Fuse's The Sauce.



Happy Thanksgiving!

Former Members of The State Come Up With the Best Show Titles... The Best!
First I'm late discovering the Michael Showalter Showalter. Now it seems I'm late discovering another State-related online shows: Wainy Days, starring (you guessed it) David Wain and many of his friends and former castmates. The second season just started (episodes 1-10 are the first season, 11+ are the second, obviously). Check it out.

Mandy No Moore
Over the years, many people have sent around many YouTube videos of terrible singers performing terrible versions of popular songs from their homes. But in my humble opinion, this girl's rendition of Mandy Moore's "Crush" is up there with the worst. She starts off badly and goes down from there, even throwing in a coughing fit at the end. The only thing that could've made this video more humiliating would have been if the girl had tried to use a monkey, like Mandy did in the original video.*

Onto another performer who's been having trouble singing lately, here's some footage in which Amy Winehouse may be snorting cocaine onstage, mid-sing, in front of an entire audience.

* Why do I know that fact? I wish I had a good answer to that question. I could try and blame it on writing for TRL, but I definitely wasn't working there when that video came out.

Scab Hunters
While trolling around on Craigslist a few minutes ago, I discovered this post about a network sitcom seeking non-union writers during the WGA strike. Seemed highly suspicious to me, so after some quick research, I discovered that the ad was in fact a ploy by New York Press to gauge the potential level of scabbage. So all you writers looking to cash in on the strike, beware of booby-traps!

Just had my first visit with the sleep clinic's psychologist, and the hits just keep on coming. The no-chocolate rule is now in full effect, although if I have an unstoppable craving, I can eat some as long as it's before 6pm. The 2am-8am sleep schedule (which had evolved to 1:30am-8am) is sort of out the window. I'm now only supposed to go to bed when I'm literally falling asleep... as long as it's at least 1:30, that is. But if it's not until 5am, so be it. Still have to get up at 8am. And if I don't fall asleep within 15 minutes of getting in bed, gotta get up and leave my bedroom until I'm falling asleep somewhere else. Also I have to start this weird yoga-ish meditative diaphragmatic (yes, that's a word) breathing where I take a deep diaphragm breath, say "one, relax," and repeat, going up to ten and then back down to one... but if my mind wanders at all, I can't leave the number that I'm on until I take an uninterrupted breath.
This is all madness, right?

Let's Get Bached
Yesterday I worked on a special episode of TRL devoted to the new Rock Band video game. It taped at the Hard Rock Cafe in Times Square and featured a battle of the bands judged by Tom DeLonge, Lacey from Flyleaf (a last-minute replacement for Slash; I can't think of a worse possible downgrade), and... Sebastian Bach! Yes, I never EVER thought I would see hundreds of members of a TRL audience cheering for Sebastian Bach. But it happened. And with all apologies to Tom Cruise, you have been replaced as the nicest guest I've ever worked with on TRL. I challenge anyone to find a more happy-go-lucky guy on this planet than Bach. He seems genuinely happy to be in the spotlight, he constantly engaged the audience, didn't complain once, took his role seriously (even asking for a pen to take notes on the performers), and seemed almost as excited to be in a photo with me than I was to be in a photo with him (alas, this could be the worst photo ever taken of me... I look like I'm wearing an inflatable life vest under my shirt and that I have a massively receding hairline). I'm totally willing to forgive him for wearing a Sebastian Bach shirt.

On the subject of rock stars, my friend recently gave me several packs of Proset Super Stars Musicards that he had found in a memorabilia store in Pittsburgh. Basically they're baseball cards of musicians circa 1991. I got legends (Led Zeppelin, Bob Marley), hair metal bands even I'd never heard of (Law and Order, Hericane Alice [yes, I spelled that correctly]), and not one, but two Vanilla Ice cards. They're filled with fascinating information, such as that House of Lords' second album "mixes Arabic scales with classic rock" or that as a teenager, Johnny Gill felt that he had "a man's voice in a child's body." Good to know!

New Yorkers can now satisfy their hunger with a $1,000 bagel or a $25,000 chocolate sundae. I know that the dollar keeps dropping in value, but this is getting to be like post-World War I Germany.
By the way, is it really true, as I recall learning in school, that Germans back then used paper currency as toilet paper? That seems a bit extreme. Even if TP was worth the same amount, or slightly more, than the money, I'd prefer using the real deal to wipe my ass. Money is rougher, has dye on it, and could always regain its value. Not very wise thinking by the Germans, in my opinion.

Quick hits on a Tuesday:
- This Almost Impossible Rock & Roll Quiz from Rolling Stone certainly lives up to its name. Through a combination of actual knowledge and educated guesses, I scored a 46 out of 58, which is Expert ("You know your Bowie from your Bambaata"). Works for me.
- This blog from the LA Times is doing an excellent job of covering the WGA strike. Tons of updates daily, checking in with both big-time stars (Paul Haggis, Tina Fey, Julia Louis-Dreyfus) as well as unknowns. So far it seems as if the writers are pretty serious about this strike, and the actors are providing support too. This could take a while.
- The Goo Goo Dolls have got some nerve slapping "Vol. 1" on the title of their Greatest Hits album. If they are able to release enough hits in the future to constitute another entire CD, then I'm a monkey's uncle.

I would make a joke about this 8-limbed toddler, but I don't want to offend anyone today. So all I will say is that this could be my favorite photo of all time.

So we all remember the classic video for Tom Petty's "Make It Better," which takes place inside a woman's inner ear (and by "we" I mean "I"). 20 years later, this video takes that concept but moves the action slightly south on the female body. Brilliant homage, guys.

Get My Freak On
Against all my better judgment, I've decided to post a photo of me from Halloween dressed as Pale Man from Pan's Labyrinth. A few things to point out:
1) By this point of the festivities, I'd been wearing the costume for 3 hours. Which is why the pantyhose is frayed and rolled up. It looked much better when I first put it on.
2) The costume was a logistical nightmare. The fake nails made it impossible to hold anything, so I couldn't eat and barely drink. The pantyhose on the head made it difficult to see and breathe. The eyeballs kept falling off of my hands. And the unitard was very warm and left very little to the imagination.
3) I'd say no more than 1/3 of the people there got the reference. I thought that more people in NYC had seen Pan's Labyrinth. Guess not. Come on, it was nominated for 6 Oscars!
4) My friend dressed as Mario had begged me to partner up and dress as Luigi. In retrospect, I made a poor decision in turning him down.
5) The third guy in the photo is not dressed as "artistic Hitler," as many people thought. He's Win Butler. His wife dressed as Regine, and when they stood next to each other, it was much easier to decipher their costumes.
6) I don't think he'll make a return appearance next year.

In honor of Halloween, here's a cool compilation of the Wilhelm Scream throughout movie history. You may not know it by name, but you'll definitely recognize the sound when you hear it.

Also, in about 3 hours I'll be making a complete fool of myself by dressing up as Pale Man from Pan's Labyrinth. It will either be the best costume at the party I'm going to, or by far the worst. How am I pulling it off? I can't give away all the secrets, but it does involve a unitard and wearing pantyhose on my head...

This morning I had my fourth sleep clinic session. To update everyone, per instructions I had begun to move my bedtime earlier by 15 minutes every 4-5 days. The move to 1:45am went smoothly, as did 1:30; in both cases, I continued to fall asleep in about 3o minutes. However when I started going to sleep at 1:15, I regressed and began taking close to an hour to fall asleep. The doctor told me that I should schedule an appointment with the clinic's psychologist to give me relaxation exercises. She also suggested that I cut out chocolate. This is now getting ridiculous. I've already given up caffeine, staying out late, sleeping in, and alcohol past 11pm (er, for the most part). Eliminating chocolate is going too far. Is all of this sacrifice worth it? I'm starting to lean towards no.

On my visit, I noticed that the 99-cent store right next to the subway entrance (D train at 205th St.) has changed ownership. If you look at the sign below, you'll see that it boasts "everything 99 cents or more." You may not be able to tell from this photo, but the word "more" has clearly been pasted over the original sign. Did the previous owners offer everything at 99 cents or less? That seems like a much better deal to me. 99 cents or more could be anything. Hell, Ferrari dealerships could claim the same, as long as they at least sold a $0.99 keychain or something.
Finally, I'm glad so many people have been ripping into A-Rod for backing out of his contract (during the clinching game of the World Series, a point I should have mentioned but didn't). But so far, nobody has done a better job of it than Scott Miller at CBS Sportsline. His column is pure venom. I love it!

Blogger Andrew Sullivan was a panelist on last week's Real Time with Bill Maher. During the show, Maher mentioned that he loved Sullivan's post about questions to be asked at a Republican debate, specifically:
- Would you have sex with a man to stop a terrorist attack?
- If you had a time machine, would you travel back in time and abort Bin Laden?
Those are indeed great questions. And I put the probability of them ever actually being asked, let alone answered, slightly below the chance that the Yanks ever hire A-Rod to manage the team.

Sunday Night Bloody Sunday Night
I'm pretty pissed off right now. Not because the Dolphins are halfway through their season and still don't have a win, and not because the Red Sox just won the World Series (yup, another sweep... the 3rd in 4 years. Exciting.)... although those things do irk me. No, it's because Scott Boras announced about an hour ago that Ass-Rod has opted out of his contract with the Yankees. I really didn't think he'd go through with it. Turns out I drastically underestimated his selfishness.
The most annoying part of this is his lame excuse for opting out: that he wasn't sure if Rivera, Posada, and Pettitte would return to the Yanks. Total, utter bullshit. If that was really the reason, why not wait until the last possible day to decide? You've got 10 days from right now. Maybe once the Yanks announce their manager in the next day or two, things will fall in place. There's no need to jump the gun. He knows, and Boras knows, and I know, and everyone knows, it's all about money.
Seriously, can you think of a player more interested in money than A-Rod? $252 million (plus however much he made with the Mariners, and of course endorsements) isn't enough money for him? What on earth could possibly exist that he cannot afford? I could even understand it if another player had signed a bigger contract, so A-Rod justified his move by saying he wanted to once again become the highest-paid player in the league. But he's head-and-shoulders above the rest of the league in terms of salary.
It's pathetic that he cares more about a few extra dollars than about winning. Cause there's no way he's going to a serious contender. The Yanks won't bid on him. It seems unfathomable to me that the Red Sox would want him, given the history. The Mets don't really have anywhere to put him, as the left side of their infield is set. Of the other playoff teams from this season, I'd say only the Cubs and Angels can afford him (possibly the Phillies, but I doubt it), and let's be real... those teams are not winning the World Series anytime soon. So presumably he'll finish out his days breaking records but never winning a title. And that will sum up his career nicely; the ultimate selfish player.
Anyway, that's my rant...

The End Point
It's a sad day. Actually, yesterday was, but I'm just getting around to this now. Tommy Himself has pulled the plug on The Sticking Point. The two of us had talked a couple of weeks ago about our mutual current lack of enthusiasm for blogging (or, since he hates that word, web-logging). And while I'm keeping my site on life support, he decided walk away. Maybe he was inspired by Joe Torre.
It's too bad. His posts had become few and far between, but they remained entertaining. He's got a style of writing that manages to be both conversational and poetic at the same time. It puts me to shame. Must be the extra decade+ of writing experience he's got on me...
TSP, you'll be missed.

I just read this MySpace bulletin from Motley Crue (yes, I'm MySpace friends with Motley Crue):

Vince will soon be opening up his new bar in West Palm Beach, FL called VINCE NEIL'S DR. FEELGOOD'S. Set to open up in late November sometime, Vince hopes to be able to perform at the grand opening of it. Vince was in West Palm Beach this past Tuesday to see how things are going with the bar. Vince also states that he hopes to open up more locations in Atlantic City and Las Vegas.

West Palm Beach? End of November? Hmm, that's where I will be for Thanksgiving. Could be perfect timing. Although I have seen Vince perform solo once before, at BB King's here in NYC, and it's not a pretty sight. During "Girls Girls Girls" he brought some strippers out on stage, and when members of the audience reached out to touch her, Vince freaked out and stormed off. As this was only the 4th song of the set, the audience started booing and chanting "asshole" and "refund." Eventually management forced Vince to finish his set, but not before they put metal barricades up in front of the stage. So maybe I shouldn't be this excited to rehash that experience. And yet, I am. Go figure.
Dr. Feelgood's is a good name for a bar, though.

I Think I'm Blind
Alright, it's time for me to come clean about what I was really doing in the weeks without a post...
YouPorn.
What a site. It's got professional porn. Homemade amateur porn. Celebrity sex tapes. Sex scenes from Hollywood movies. This insane video of the ultimate squirter. Plus so much more.
And it's all free and streaming, just like YouTube.
Happy hunting!

Not "Disappointed"
Months after the Morrissey ticket debacle, I saw him perform at Hammerstein last night. It was the 2nd show of his 5-night residency there, and was a phenomenal show. Almost a perfect setlist (no "You're the One for Me, Fatty," though)... it blew away the first night's, adding "Disappointed," "The Boy with the Thorn in His Side," "Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want" (which he changed to "get who I want"), and a cover of the New York Dolls' "Human Being." During the encore, a fan jumped onstage to hug Morrissey, which opened the floodgates for half the audience to try. Security was tackling people left and right (some took pretty nasty spills), but many managed to reach him. The scene reminded me of the live version of Frankie Goes to Hollywood's "Relax" video.
AND I was standing next to Chloe Sevigny for most of the show! She's quite attractive in person.
AND I found a $20 bill outside the venue!
AND I got a free Fruit of the Loom undershirt on the way out!
Overall, a great night.