Monday, August 01, 2005

Things I Learned Hanging Out with Mary Carey This Weekend:
- She has fake… teeth (which she just got and which she complained look too much like her real teeth).
- In high school she won the Founder's Coucil Award for Best Dancer, which is typically based on ballet. Although if it had been based on pole-dancing, she probably would have won anyway.
- Hair that is peroxide blonde looks green under strip club blacklights.
- She has been propositioned for sex by the unnamed sleazy husband of an unnamed pop star and an unnamed rap mogul.
- Fans who pay to have their picture taken with porn stars at strip clubs are creepy. Especially ones who carry around photo albums containing every picture (which number in the dozens) ever taken with said porn star.
- When strippers do push-ups during a pole-dance routine, it is not sexy.
- I get very uncomfortable seeing men stick money between the breasts of my friends from high school.


Tommy Himself said...

So much to say, so much to say...

Brian, the title of your post is "Things I Learned Hanging Out With Mary Carey This Weekend," but it seems as though "Things I Learned About Mary Carey by Googling Her Then Watching Her Jiggle Her Flambers Around The Stage At P.T. McNudies This Weekend" be more appropo? Just askin'.

Fake teeth? You don't say.

Why does it make you uncomfortable watching men "stick money between the breasts of [your] friends from high school"? Isn't that what those breasts were there for? And, also -- do many others of your high school friends participate in such a transaction? What year did you graduate from Jenna Jameson High?


P.S. Why don't those people have names?

Becca said...

Hasn't she had fake... teeth for awhile? Or are you really referring to her chompers? Because those two huge teeth she's got hangin in front- not natural. I even have pictures to prove it.

Brian said...

Becca: I was in fact talking about her chompers... brand new ones, she has... although I'd love to see whatever pictures you're talking about.

Tommy: No, Yes, Because, No, No, 1997, and Because.

Anonymous said...

But Will Their Children Produce Porn News?

(BEVERLY HILLS) -- X-rated video mogul Mark Kulkis, who escorted porn star Mary Carey to June's GOP dinner with President Bush, has found a new love interest: Washington powerdater and CNN producer Kathy Benz.

The two met during an interview while Kulkis, 40, president and CEO of Kick Ass Pictures, was in DC for the National Republican Congressional Committee's annual President's Dinner. He's honorary chairman of the NRCC's Business Advisory Council, a roundtable of millionaire entrepreneurs.

Benz denies she's cozying up to Kulkis to get a scoop for CNN about the private lunch he and Carey had with White House Chief of Staff Karl Rove. "Mark's a wonderful guy and I think this could be the real thing," she tells girlfriends.

Benz, 35, is known in Washington power circles for dating such figures as venture capitalist Jonathan Ledecky (now trying to buy the Washington Nationals), Univ. of Maryland basketball coach Gary Williams, and spent time last August with Sirius CEO Mel Karmazin at his Hamptons home.

Her regular companions include Rep. Pete Sessions (R-Tex.), John Sununu, Sr, venture capitalist Mark Ein, Chicago Cubs VP John McDonough and Democratic lawyer Julian Epstein. She was engaged to John Daggett, AOL millionaire.