Sunday, February 29, 2004

Oscars start in 2 hours... here are my predictions for the major categories, and what I want to win (bear in mind that I'm really bad at this):

Best Picture:
Want – City of God (but since it’s not nominated, Lost in Translation)
Predict – LOTR
Best Director:
Want – City of God
Predict – LOTR
Best Actor:
Want – Either Penn, Murray, or Depp
Predict – Penn
Best Actress:
Want – Theron
Predict – Theron
Best Supporting Actor:
Want – Del Toro or Watanabe
Predict – Robbins
Best Supporting Actress:
Want – Hunter
Predict – Agdashloo
Best Original Screenplay:
Want – Lost in Translation
Predict – Lost in Translation
Best Adapted Screenplay:
Want – City of God
Predict – Mystic River

Saturday, February 28, 2004

I'm visiting my parents in Florida this weekend, which always leads to many memorable quotes... here are some favorites:
1) "Raise your hand if you want to go to Florida! (after 2 people raise their hands) If you don't raise your hand, you can just stay in New York... (2 more people raise their hand)" - Song Airline attendant.
2) "We board our passengers by zone, so check your seat assignment; your zone will be listed directly beneath your seat number. You ticket should say Zone 1-6. If it says 'end zone' or 'twilight zone,' you're on the wrong flight." - same Song attendant.
3) "Don't open the window... you'll freeze to death!" - my mother, to my sister during the car ride to dinner our first night; according to the car thermometer, the outside temperature was 78 degrees.
4) "Why do they itch?" - my mother, asking me about the members of G-Unit's affinity for grabbing their balls in their videos.
5) "Do you want to eat at my place? The last week of each month they serve the worst lunches... there's nothing there you would eat." - my grandmother, referring to the dining room at her assisted living complex when my sister and I asked her if she'd like to have lunch the following day.
6) "They don't know their ear from their A." - my grandmother, referring to the waiters at aforementioned dining room.
7) "What? His name is Chet Whosin?" - my mother, after I informed her that the subject of a photo in her Annie Leibovitz book was Trent Reznor.
8) "You know what you are? A pisser... when you go, do you make sure you get rid of it all? Do you know how to do it right? Do you need someone to teach you?" - my grandmother, grilling my sister on the proper urination methods due to my sister's habit of peeing approximately every 80 minutes.
Good times...

Friday, February 27, 2004

Apparently the Kids of Widney High have just released a new CD, Act Your Age. What an odd coincidence, since on Monday I named my fantasy baseball league Kids of Widney High. Eerie, that is... but I can't wait to hear the new album.

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

Some interesting stuff in the new issue of Rolling Stone:
1) After Ryan Adams fell offstage and broke his wrist, "the injury may take up to two months to heal, and he could lose twenty percent mobility in the wrist. But the singer is in good spirits... 'Maybe I can learn to play guitar with my feet.'" Yeah, or maybe you should give up performing altogether... that's obviously what God had in mind when he caused you to take a nosedive...
2) Avril Levigne, when asked what is her favorite board game: "I like Scrabble. I'm actually pretty good at it, I think, because when I'm writing, I'm thinking of words." There is no joke I could possibly make that is a better punchline that her quote on its own...
3) Quote from Beyonce Knowles: "I work really hard. I'm a perfectionist. If my video is wrong, I'm-a-fix it." Guess that perfectionism doesn't carry over into her grammar...

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Last year I signed up to be part of the Compact Disc Minimum Advertised Price Antitrust Litigation. Yesterday I finally got my settlement check in the amount of $13.86. So basically, after years of having CD companies rip me off, I've been awarded enough money to almost go to a store and buy a new album. Maybe if I put the money into a high-yield bond, I'll be able to afford Smile when it comes out in the fall...

I came to work today to have this piece of news waiting for me... how great! Two positive Beach Boys news stories in one week... who would've thunk it? I can't wait for the album to come out, but he simply MUST bring the tour to the US... why should Europe get all the love? Look at these reviews:
I'm salivating...

Sunday, February 22, 2004

I was on the subway yesterday and ran into KFC Homeless Man again (see Feb. 14)... still had a bag full of KFC, although his supply seemed to have dwindled a bit. I wish I could get free KFC the same way this guy does... I wonder what his secret is. Would it be worth it to pretend to be homeless in order to get free KFC? Eh, probably not.

Friday, February 20, 2004

Let's make this happen... the Beach Boys have been historically screwed in terms of recognition, and while this won't rectify that, it's a start...

Thursday, February 19, 2004

Lil' GnR is returning to CBGB's on Sunday... this audition footage of them is kinda funny and so, SO sad all at once.

It has been decided... the next mix topic is Cover Songs. Gonna be very interesting, since most covers suck... but I'm sure Tommy will come up with winners. Tentative due date is March 1, so check back for track listings and liner notes. In the meantime, this is by no means a definitive collection, but still a pretty cool resource.

The commercial for Time-Life's Best of Beavis & Butt-head proclaim that "the best duos in history come in pairs." Thanks, Einsteins.

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Well it looks like eBay removed the posting I linked to a couple days ago for the person selling the phone number 212-867-5309... last I checked it was at 65 grand... I wonder how much I can get for my phone number that so closely resembled a Chinese restaurant that I get at least a dozen wrong number calls a week... anyone interested?

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Happy Half-Birthday to me...

In commercials for Gatorade, why does the ad read Is It In You? when the voice-over specifically says Is It In You? Doesn't make sense...

The press conference introducing A-rod as a Yankee was very exciting, but they're always too diplomatic. When asked if he had anything to say to the Red Sox, why couldn't he say, "Screw you, Boston... you're going down"? You know that's what he was thinking...

Monday, February 16, 2004

Of all I have read so far regarding the A-rod trade (and it's been a lot), this is by far the best item:
The Rangers will wind up paying $140 million for three seasons with Rodriguez, an average of $46.7 million annually for three last-place finishes in the AL West. The Yankees will owe him $112 million over seven years.

You have got to be kidding me with this... wouldn't having that number be more of a bother than anything else, with the number of crank calls the winner would surely get? People with that much money to spend on such a stupid thing SUCK!!!

It's President's Day, and I'm at work... the TRL staff seems to be the only people in the building (or at least on the floor)... bah.

Sunday, February 15, 2004

When my clock radio went off this morning, "Walking on the Moon" was just finishing, and the DJ came on and said "That was the Police, and right before that we heard the new one from Tesla," and I suddenly got scared that I had woken up in 1989...

Saturday, February 14, 2004

1:45am, Friday night / Saturday morning, Times Square subway station, uptown 1/2/3/9 platform. A homeless man is digging eagerly into a garbage can, presumably in search of food. A couple minutes later, a second homeless man wanders by, carrying a large Adidas sports bag with several stuffed animals protruding. He puts the bag down and unzips it, revealing that the majority of the bag is filled with KFC: boxes of chicken, sealed side items, the works. Noticing the garbage scavenger, he takes out two individual sides (both mashed potatoes and gravy, if I'm not mistaken) and says "Hey man, don't be digging through no garbage. Take this." The first man refuses to even acknowledge the second man, let alone accept the offering. The second man puts the food back in the bag, then wanders around the platform screaming, "Crazy man don't want no KFC! Crazy man don't want no KFC!"
As the Post's Liz Smith says, "Only in New York, kids, only in New York."

Friday, February 13, 2004

Don't forget to vote for this year's Orsons.

Tonight on Fox: Celebrity Spelling Bee. Apparently:
"Celebrity Spelling Bee will tap into the appeal of Spellbound by having a 10-year-old spelling champion to whom the celebrity teams can turn when stuck on a word. 'He's what you would expect,' Darnell said. 'A great speller and very precocious.'"
I was hoping it'd be Harry Altman, the musical robot from Spellbond, but he's too old now. At least I know David Faustino will be in it...

So Barbie and Ken split up, eh? Um, I hate to break it to everyone, but they're DOLLS... inanimate objects... what the hell is wrong with people?

Thursday, February 12, 2004

Ooh man, this is gonna be good... I can't wait for the names to start leaking out...

I used to like staying friends with ex-girlfriends, especially ones with whom I'm somewhat interested in getting back together, but afer last night I may have to rethink my entire outlook... unless somebody can tell me a good way to get out of having to listen to an ex play really awful guitar music and having to feign enthusiasm and compliments (all the while being on your best behavior because her mother is in town), then being forced to take an 80-minute subway ride from Brooklyn back to your apartment in uptown Manhattan... anyone?

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

I noticed a couple of bizarre moments in this week's RW/RR Challenge: The Inferno that I'm sure most people didn't pick up on:
1) After Leah says that she thinks Darrell is the sexiest guy there, it cuts to him talking to Julie, who is stroking his arm. No offense to Darrell, but I'm sure that such pre-marriage fornication with an African-American is exactly the type of non-Mormon behavior that caused BYU to give Julie the boot.
2) In the club after Trischelle pisses everyone off, Jeremy comes up and attempts to calm her down... although it seems to me that he's actually trying to hit on her... and this happens while he's got Katie clinging to him... and Katie is so drunk that when he steps away from her, she basically topples over. I think the general consensus already was that Jeremy is a tool, but the fact that he's trying to take advantage of two completely hammered girls nails this point home. And while I have no respect for Katie, she certainly can do better than Jeremy, even in a state of complete obliteration.
Nevertheless, an entertaining episode.

I wish I was rich enough to own the MTV building... if I did, I would wire the elevators so that if anyone ever pressed a button that was already lit, they'd get a shock. It doesn't make the elevator go any faster... get a clue. While I'm at it, I would also add shock capabilities to subway doors so that people who block them would get zapped... or maybe some form of retractable blades would do the trick, things that shot out like Wolverine's claws... if somebody's arm is wedged between the doors, the blades would slice it right off, and the train could go on its merry way. Yeah, that'd be cool.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

My friend pointed this out to me last night, and it's pretty damn cool... Billy Zabka, the King of 80s movies (Karate Kid, Just One of the Guys, Back to School), is nominated for an Oscar this year! It's true... Best Short Film (Live Action) for a movie called Most (The Bridge). Check it out:
A quick check at his IMDB page shows that it is in fact the same William (Billy) Zabka.
Can you imagine the reaction if he wins? The presenter announces his name, the audience applauds politely, but once he strides up to the stage and begins his acceptance speech, people slowly gasp as they realize, "Hey, that can't be Johnny Lawrence, can it?" Would he thank Cobra Kai? Would someone call out "Sweep the leg!"? The possibilities are endless!
We have to start a campaign to get Zabka the Oscar. Anyone have any ideas? Who's with me?

Monday, February 09, 2004

Here are the liner notes for the Referential Mix I made for Tommy:

1. Running Down a Dream - Tom Petty: What better way to kick off a mix than with a great guitar lick? The ultimate driving song about listening to a driving song (Del Shannon’s “Runaway”)
2. Maybe Angels - Sheryl Crow: Elvis, Kurt Cobain, John Lennon, and Jesus (arguably the world’s first rock star).
3. Surrender - Cheap Trick: Makes me think of Damone from Fast Times more than it makes me think about Kiss, but a good song nonetheless. Cheap Trick is actually going on tour with Aerosmith this summer… and Aerosmith just finished touring with Kiss… what a tangled web.
4. Born in the 50s - The Police: Would a song called “Born in the 80s” have any impact at all? Instead of “screaming for the Beatles,” they’d be screaming for New Kids on the Block? That’s an odd thing to think about.
5. The Seeker - The Who: I was all set to put “You Better, You Bet” on here, but changed at the last minute because 1) I had another song referencing T. Rex and 2) this is a better song. Good thing too, because you put “You Better, You Bet” on yours. Do you think anyone else has ever called Bob Dylan “Bobby”?
6. Blinded By the Light - Bruce Springsteen: I may have cheated a bit using a classical reference, but the lyrics of this song are incredible and come off much better than the poppier, more-famous version by Manfred Mann.
7. All the Young Dudes - Mott the Hoople: A better T. Rex-referential song that the Who’s.
8. Life Is Real – Queen: Subtitled “Song for Lennon.”
9. Make Me Lose Control - Eric Carmen: Odd that this is from an album released in 1977 but became a hit in 1988. I remember hearing this song for the first time on a bus from the airport to summer camp (my first time going to camp without my sister) and being calm. And I think that almost everyone knows the words to “Stand By Me” by heart.
10. Come On Eileen - Dexy's Midnight Runners: I came very close to not including this song, because I thought you’d hate it. But the reference to Johnnie Ray was too good to pass up.
11. Beethoven (I Love to Listen to) – Eurythmics
12. Rocket - Def Leppard: I got the cassette of Hysteria when I was 8, and I’m sure that in my lifetime I’ve listened to that album more than any other. Of course, when I was 8, I couldn’t identify any of the long list of references (except for “Benny & the Jets”).
13. The New Style - Beastie Boys: Could anyone think of a better rhyme for Jimmy Page than “the girlies I like are underage”?
14. When We Was Fab - George Harrison: Obviously there are covert references to the Beatles, but he also mentions songs by Dylan and Gayle McCormick. I used to think this was one of the coolest videos ever made, but watching it now, it’s just cheesy – Ringo is the biggest ham in showbiz.
15. When Smokey Sings – ABC: When Smokey sings, I think of this song.
16. Life in a Northern Town - Dream Academy: I wouldn’t have put this on if you didn’t once mention that you liked Dream Academy, which took me by surprise. Sadly, this is the 6th song on this mix that references the Beatles (or one of its members).
17. Fight the Power - Public Enemy

You can find Tommy's track list / liner notes here. He turned his into a double-CD; however, he doubled (and even tripled) up on many artists. Selectivity is the hardest part of this type of project, which is why I'm penalizing him. But I still have to give him credit for an excellent compilation and for introducing me to some fantastic music.
*Note - after no duplicates in our first swap, we have 3 duplicates on this one, and 4 others that potentially could've been (I almost put in "You Better You Bet," "Dio," and "Do You Remember Rock & Roll Radio," he almost put in "Come On Eileen"). Fascinating similarities.

A sign posted in the studio today had 8 simple words that made my week:
"24 Hours with Fred Durst Has Been Cancelled!"

WHOO!!! New Terry Tate movie!

I watched about 5 minutes of the Grammy's last night (saw the Foo Fighters perform, then turned it off when Coldplay won), but from the Post's review of it, it sounded great, especially:
The most cringe-inducing moment was when Sting, Vince Gill, Dave Matthews and Pharrell Williams paid homage to the Beatles on the 40th anniversary of the Fab Four's American conquest. "American Idol" villain critic Simon Cowell always warns all of the amateur contenders, "Don't forget the words." Yet when the quartet attempted "I Saw Her Standing There," Matthews Sang, "I saw her dancing there." Sting glided along the chorus until he derailed on the Paul McCartney high note, and the harmonies sounded like somebody was hurting a dog.
The boys had nobody to blame but themselves, but poor Celine Dion who performed Luther Vandross' "Dance With My Father" was mired in technical difficulties. While the camera focused in tightly on Dion, all you could hear was a now-unemployed sound guy repeatedly asking, "Should I take it up, should I take it up." He finally took it up to the point that Dion busted a few eardrums when her upper register collided with a wall of feedback.

Ha and double-ha to Matthews and Dion... I hate you both.

Speaking of Foo Fighters, who would've thought ten years ago that by 2004 a spin-off band by Nirvana's drummer would have three times as many Grammys as Nirvana?

One last Grammy note... Tommy has the greatest line I think I've ever read in one of these event diary-type things:
8:45 Justin Trousersnake says "It's an honor" just to be in the company of the other nominees. If by "honor," you mean "travesty," bulls-eye, JT!
Tommy has helped me a lot with my writing, but it's moments like this where I realize I'll just never get to his level.

Saturday, February 07, 2004

You'll have to take my word for it, but believe me, if you go to Circuit City to pick up a stereo you ordered and after 30 minutes of waiting they still haven't brought it up from the downstairs warehouse, the only thing that keeps you from going insane is watching a 7-year-old boy singing and doing the Robot while "Barbie Girl" plays overhead as his dad gives him a look that pleads "please don't turn out gay"...

Thursday, February 05, 2004

It's been several days now since the Super Bowl, and I'm tired of hearing how great Tom Brady is... how he's the next coming of Joe Montana... how he's now a certain Hall-of-Famer. Give me a break. Although it's swapping sports, the best comparison for Brady is to Orlando Hernandez. In his tenure with the Yankees, El Duque pitched ably (but certainly not spectacularly) for several seasons... yet he thrived during the postseason. Will El Duque make the Hall? Of course not. If Brady keeps up his pace, should he? Of course not. Playing well (and let's not forget that Brady twice nearly cost the Pats wins this posteason with his late game in-the-endzone interceptions) for a few games a season is not enough to earn such respect. So drop the charade, okay?

By the way, how is this news?

Saw my friend and former roommate Liz Tormes perform last night. As usual, a great set. If you're into kinda folksy-acoustic-guitar songs, you should check her out.

I can't stop looking at this two-headed baby... although the second head looks like it belongs to the monkey from Outbreak.

All 7 Police Academy movies are coming out on DVD in April. The only thing funnier than those movies? This press release. "Law enfarcement" - that's gold! And if there's anyone out there who thinks that the Police Academy Giftset (featuring all 7 films) will provide"hard-core laughter," I'd love to meet him / her.

The NFL has bounced JC Chasez from performing at the Pro-Bowl. Somewhere, Justin is laughing about this, his evil plan to destroy the solo careers of all other N'Sync members having been set into motion...

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Wow, this guy may be more obessed with The Simpsons than I am. It's a damn fine list (ignoring the fact that he screws up by listing 100-75 in the first day, which is actually 26 items, thereby screwing up the distribution for the rest of the week), but not as good as the one I linked to on Nov. 18.

We're getting close to the start of baseball season, and articles are becoming more plentiful. This is a good one, although it bothers me that the author is so confident that both Bonds and Sosa will break the home-run record. Bonds, maybe. Sosa will have lots of trouble hitting dingers with the new drug testing in place. Should be interesting to see how this season plays out.

I could get lost for hours in this site.

Looks like there's a feud developing between Lindsayism and Hot Abercrombie Chick. I say they settle this in a ring... naked... with jello...

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

Yesterday Tommy and I exchanged our Track 5 mixes... and, as expected, his was far superior to mine. Mine was 18 tracks, his 21. High points of mine:
- Tom Petty, "It's Good To Be King" (from Wildflowers)
- Pearl Jam, "Wash" (from Lost Dogs)
- Eels, "3 Speed" (from Electro-Shock Blues)
- STP, "Still Remains" (from Purple)
- Glen Phillips, "My Own Town" (from Abulum)
- Cyndi Lauper, "She-Bop" (from She's So Unusual)
High points of his:
- Pulp, "Disco 2000" (from Different Class)
- Buzzcocks, "Ever Fallen in Love" (from Singles Going Steady)
- Replacements, "Waitress in the Sky" (from Tim)
- Tom Waits, "The Piano Has Been Drinking (Not Me)"
- Stevie Wonder, "Sir Duke" (from Songs in the Key of Life)
- Pink Floyd, "The Gunner's Dream" (from The Final Cut).
How could I have left off "Sir Duke"??? Tommy claims that he likes mine, but he knows he won this battle. The war has yet to be decided, however... next week will be another mix... topic is Songs That Reference Other Songs / Musicians. Stay tuned...

Monday, February 02, 2004

So it looks like my predictions for the Super Bowl were WAY off. It was a surprisingly good game, although I would’ve liked a different outcome. And it should’ve been a different outcome… the Panthers lost the game more than the Patriots won it. So many mistakes in the 4th quarter:
1) Going for 2 points with 12 minutes to play.
2) Going for 2 points again.
3) Calling a time-out when they got down to the 15 yard line with 1:07 left.
4) Not calling a running play to eat up some time.
5) Booting the kickoff out of bounds.
If they had simply kicked extra points every time, they would’ve been up 31-28 (NE would not have tried a 2-pointer either), so the field goal would’ve sent the game into overtime instead of sending the Panthers home as runner-ups. And how could they possibly give the Pats so much time? Did they learn nothing from Super Bowl XXXVI? Very frustrating.
Other notes from watching the game:
- Who didn't know that Vinatieri would miss the first field goal when they showed the graphic saying that his only 2 misses indoors took place at Reliant Stadium?
- The commercials were AWFUL. Truth had 2 of my favorite ads… how sad is that?
- I didn’t know that Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer played for the Panthers (#86, Kris Mangum)
- How pretentious of Pepsi to try to take credit for Hendrix’s career. What’s next, a commercial where Christopher Columbus asks for permission to find a faster passage to India for better access to Pepsi? (Interesting to note that had Hendrix picked the accordion, he would most likely still be alive today… although would anybody know who he is? Makes you think…)
- The Halftime show was also AWFUL. I told my friend Matt that if the stage had blown up, it would’ve eliminated 3 of my top-10 Least-Favorite People Alive (P. Diddy, Kid Rock, Justin Timberlake). And my ass they didn’t plan to have Janet’s boob hanging out.
- As the second half was beginning, Phil Simms made this genius comment: “Don’t forget that historically, lots of stuff happens in the 2nd half.” (approximate quote) I don’t know that I’d say a lot… more like half the stuff happens in the 2nd half. Thanks for that brilliant analysis.
It’ll be a long 7 months until the start of next season.

I saw Monster over the weekend and liked it a lot. Charlize Theron really does give an incredible performance, although I think it had been built up a bit too much. One thing I found odd was that it seems that in South Florida in the 1980s, every car on every street was not actually driving anywhere, but was in fact trolling for hookers. I grew up in South Florida in the 80s and never noticed this phenomenon... and it makes me wonder my dad actually was going out to "go bowling with the guys" on Wednesday nights...
It's also interesting how prostitute movies have evolved over the past 15 years. Monster and Pretty Woman would be much different films if you swapped the lead characters. Monster would make more sense if Christina Ricci's character kept telling Julia Roberts' Vivian how pretty her face was... although having Aileen Wuornos in Pretty Woman would have had a hilarious effect on one scene in particular:
(walks up to snooty saleswoman)
"Hi... remember me? I was in here yesterday and you wouldn't wait on me. "
(pulls out gun)
"Big mistake."
(shoots saleswoman in the stomach)
(fires several more bullets into saleswoman's chest, the calmly walks away)