Things I Learned from Watching Mr. T's Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool
- If you're going to create a new word, it's hard to come up with a better one than "absoludicrous."
- Fergie had not yet had her first face-lift at age 9 (see photo), although she might still have been in her pants-wetting phase. She also wanted to be a baseball player when she grew up, even though she swings like crap.
- If you cannot afford a gym membership, you can get a damn fine workout by repeatedly lifting a boom box and by doing squats with a bag of popcorn on your head.
- If you're a fat kid, Mr. T will make fun of you.
- To prevent yourself from looking foolish when you trip, pretend to breakdance when you hit the floor. Then people will applaud you instead of laugh at you.
- Treat your mother right.
- If you're being pressured to drink or smoke when you're underage, having New Edition around to sing a motivational song will help you just say no.
Thank you for the lessons, Mr. T!