Things I've Learned the Past Few Weeks at Work
- Anne Hathaway has a major problem with sweaty pits. Her nipples are also overly-sensitive to the cold. And she's almost certainly a lesbian.
- When Quddus reads the word "adjective" off of a cue card, he makes it rhyme with "objective."
- Tom Cruise is either the nicest celebrity on the face of the earth, or he acts like he is (although my money is that he's genuine).
- Vanessa Carlton's socks are sweatier after 10 seconds of moonwalking than mine are after an hour-long workout.
- More TRL viewers tune in to see New Found Glory than to see the cast of Collateral.
- If you ever find yourself in a room with Jet Li and want to laugh, ask him to say the word "happy." He pronounces it "High-pee." If discussing the movie Hero, however, do not ask him who his hero is ("No hero! Just me!").