Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Chronology of Celebrity Crushes

1990: Tiffani-Amber Thiessen (Saved by the Bell)



Ah, Kelly Kapowski. Why couldn't you have gone to my high school? I had to settle for riding the bus with Mary Carey... which I guess wasn't all bad. But I digress. During Saved by the Bell's heyday, I was squarely on Team Zack, as I think most people were. Kelly deserved better than that lamewad A.C. Slater. But deep down I thought Kelly deserved me. After all, I would never bug her room to hear what she was saying about me, or use subliminal messages to get her to like me. Or would I...?

Post-SbtB thumbs-up: Two words: boob job.


Post-SbtB thumbs-down: Her acting career is essentially DOA. And she used to date Brian Austin Green, which means she could never date me, because that would just be weird for her to date two guys with the same name. Damn him!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I loved her on "Saved by the Bell", as Kelly. I was envious of Zach until she dumped him for her boss at the diner. Then, she dumped her boss for cheating on her and she was alone and boyless for almost a year. I read what I could about girls by themselves and imagined Kelly needing that a lot.

Anonymous said...

I loved her on "Saved by the Bell", as Kelly. I was envious of Zach until she dumped him for her boss at the diner. Then, she dumped her boss for cheating on her and she was alone and boyless for almost a year. I read what I could about girls by themselves and imagined Kelly needing that a lot.