Monday, November 29, 2004

I'm back from spending 5 (semi-)relaxing nights with my parents in South Florida... and, much like last year, there was much to be thankful for... and much not to be. So here's my second-annual Thanksgiving Cheers and Jeers:

Cheers to my grandma, the queen of unintentional comedy. This year's winner for best line of the trip came when we were discussing the fact that she can't drink beer because she's on a diet. When I suggested she drink lite beer, she waved her hand dismissively and said, "Lite beer... that's like drinking make-believe!"

Cheers to my mom, who is fast becoming my grandma when it comes to crazy lines. Her best was, "Speaking of people not wearing purple shirts..." (even though nobody was talking about people wearing purple shirts... or not wearing purple shirts... or even purple shirts at all)

Jeers to my jinxing ability. On the Sunday before I left, I ran into Andy, the Apprentice 2 contestant who went to my high school. I made my best effort not to talk about the show, as I'm sure he's sick of it, but wished him luck with the rest of it. Of course, Trump fired him on the next show. Sorry, Andy!

Jeers to South Florida DJ's. One of them said, "Lots of people say it's Beyonce, but I think Amy Lee has the best voice in music." Hey, I'm a bigger Evanescence fan than I should be, and I like her voice, but there's no way Amy Lee has the best in music. Another DJ said he had some "sad holiday news" about a man who died when he fell of his roof trying to string up holiday lights, then went on a riff about how that sounds like Chevy Chase in Christmas Vacation. Little tact?

Jeers to bad timing. My flight home on Tuesday coincided with the 20th anniversary of the Doug Flutie UM/BC game, one of the most exciting in the history of college football. I'd never actually seen the final hail-mary pass, so I was excited to find that JetBlue had ESPN Classic on its DirecTV service, allowing me to watch the game in the air. Sadly, we landed less than 2 minutes before the game ended, and the TV shut off as we pulled into the gate. I've still never seen the play.

Cheers to perseverance. At the West Palm Beach airport security line, a man got into an argument with security, who said that his bag was too big to bring as a carry-on. The man stuffed the bag into the dimension display, showing arguing that it did in fact fit. When rebuffed, the guy started screaming at the security guard that he wanted to see her boss. She said that she had no boss, so the guy yelled, "Oh, so you're the king of the airport?" When she continued to refuse him, he yelled to everyone else on line, "Does anyone see any reason why I can't bring this bag on-board?" Of course he received no response. Eventually the security guard relented. And while I don't really endorse making such a scene at an airport, I was impressed by his, shall we say, moxie.
(On a side note, as the guy then went to retrieve his bag from the dimension display, he found it wedged in so tightly that it was stuck... as I passed through the metal detector, he was still struggling to free it)

Anyway, back to the daily grind now...

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