Monday, December 01, 2003

Back in action after a few days in Florida for Thanksgiving. To catch up, I've decided to steal a page out of TV Guide and do a Cheers & Jeers section. Here goes...

Jeers to airline travel. Tuesday night I get to LaGuardia for a 7:45pm flight on American down to Ft. Lauderdale. But apparently the plane coming in from Nashville had to circle because of "air traffic" and ran out of gas, causing it to land at Kennedy to refuel. It then couldn't take off because of more "air traffic," and when it finally did, it couldn't land because another flight had taken over our gate. We ended up being 2 1/2 hours late. "Air traffic" is the biggest crock of shit. Flights are scheduled so that each one has a specific slot. How ATC can suddenly be overwhelmed with traffic is beyond comprehension. And the fact that the plane from Nashville was given just enough fuel to cover the short trip to New York (and none extra) is not too comforting. Way to start my vacation off poorly.

Cheers to my grandmother for telling a story and using the phrase "shot his wad," then realizing the inappropriateness of it and trying to correct herself by saying "shot his load," as if that's any better. Sometimes my grandma can make me laugh harder than anyone. That was one of those times.

Jeers to my grandmother for freaking out when a waitress brought her a refill on her Diet Coke without asking first. "What's this? I didn't order this!" she shrieked. Why do senior citizens become so ornery?

Cheers to two of my friends who freaked out that they are now too old to attend a live taping of TRL. At 25 and 26, they are just past the 18-24 cutoff. But I'm glad that they enjoy MTV so much as to care. Plus it lets me make fun of them for being old.

Jeers to the Red Sox for landing Curt Schilling. And to the Diamondbacks for asking for two of the Yankees' best young players (Johnson and Soriano) and taking scrubs from the Sox (Fossum and Lyon). Schilling now joins my list of "Do Not Draft" players for next year's fantasy league. I still don't think the Sox will win the Series anytime in the near future, though.

Cheers to Schilling's quote - "I guess I hate the Yankees now." That's some strong, energetic emotion he's got going. Way to motivate yourself.

Jeers to Song airline. This is the second time I've flown them, and the second time I've been disappointed. They're never on-time, their seats are ugly (lime green leather?), and although they've been operating for months, they have yet to install the music players into their planes from which they got the name "Song." Oh, and it was great having the stewardess give the following speech to me and my fellow exit-row passengers: "Since y'all are in an exit row, I need to go over something with you. I need to make sure you follow procedure correctly. We did have an emergency recently, and someone in charge of the door simply jumped out the window. Please make sure you follow the correct procedure." (At this point, somebody starts laughing) "You think it's funny, but it's not. What y'all need to do is... ah, whatever." (She walks away without detailing the correct procedure) I don't know which is worse... the fact that she didn't tell us what to do, or the fact that Song has had an emergency that utilized the emergency exits recently. Way to end my vacation poorly.

All in all, it was good to get out of Manhattan for a few days and spend time with the family. And I can't believe it's already December. Where has this year gone?

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