Here's my 2nd Annual Golden Globes diary. It's probably as boring as the show was, but here it anyway...

7:59: The Red Carpet show wraps up by saying “It was exciting to see Mick Jagger and Jamie Foxx wrestle.” What? That’s probably better than anything that will happen in the next 3 hours, and I missed it.
8:00: During the “Hallelujah I Love the Globes” montage (which, predictably, sucks), a woman in the crowd is dressed in a shirt made out of a US flag. And it looks like she needed all the fabric from a full-size one. Middle America, way to represent!
8:02: Leonardo DiCaprio only claps when he realizes the camera is on him. That’s the spirit. And does Diane Keaton wear the same pant suit to every award show? Or does she have a ton of them like Superman? It’s a mystery, like that episode of “Seinfeld” where Jerry dates the woman who wears the same outfit every time.
8:03: Clive Owen wins Best Supporting Actor, and there’s the first sighting of Miss Golden Globe. Given the color of her hair and dress, I think she’s taking the title a bit too far.
8:05: Natalie Portman wins Best Supporting Actress? Um, how many times was Mike Nichols allowed to vote? I also wonder if she’d still have won if her nude scenes had been kept in the movie… who am I kidding, it probably would’ve been a landslide in her favor.
8:10: They just ran the Visa commercial with Steinbrenner, Torre, and Stottlemyre. I wonder if anyone is dumb enough to have tried to use the credit card # they show with Steinbrenner’s name at the end.
8:13: How many blowjobs does Sean Hayes have to give to get nominated every year?
8:14: William Shatner just won an award for acting. What’s next, the Grammys give a singing award to… damn, Shatner would’ve been a perfect punchline for that joke.
8:16: They must’ve cut to the wrong shot when the announcer says “The big stars keep on coming,” because they showed Minnie Driver.
8:20: Every time they show Liam Neeson, I’m reminded of the time my sister saw him at a pub in Ireland. She has the biggest crush on him. She got wasted trying to build up the courage to talk to him, finally went over and propositioned him, he turned her down since he’s married, so she left the pub and fell down the stairs on the way out. If she ever discovers this blog, I’m in big trouble for posting this.
8:23: They’re talking about Tsunami relief. Speaking of that, last night’s benefit telethon had a performance of “Wish You Were Here” by Roger Waters and Eric Clapton. So much better than the version at the 9/11 telethon, done by Fred Durst and Johnny Reznick. Oh, and don't get me started about how retarded Jay Leno was... (P.S. You can download tracks from that show here)
8:24: If Bill Clinton was really interested in preventing the spread of deadly diseases, he would’ve worn a condom back in ’96.
8:26: Nipples! I see Mariska Hargitay’s nipples! Oh no, now they’re being blocked by her name! Go away, stupid graphic!
8:28: Miss Golden Globe is actually Clint Eastwood’s daughter. Not a very flattering dress… makes her hourglass figure look like it has an extra compartment.
8:30: Ian McShane won for his foul-mouthed character from “Deadwood.” Censors, get your fingers on the button.
8:38: Yawn.
8:50: Johnny Depp is sitting at the “cool kids” table (a.k.a. with the Kill Bill people).
8:52: For Best Film Actress, Comedy, there’s a major disconnect between who the audience seems to like (Kate Winslett) and who wins (Annette Bening). Do I smell voter fraud?
8:49: The guy from “Nip/Tuck” wins Best Actor. This is the Globe’s annual “Look How Hip and Alternative We Are” award.
9:11: Geoffrey Rush is given the best award of the night. No, not Best Actor in a Mini-Series or TV Movie… he gets to kiss all the Desperate Housewives.
9:13: How sad… all of Al Pacino’s lines have been cut and given to the announcer. He only got to say “and the nominees are…” His star sure has fallen.
9:17: Glenn Close says this is the “cherry on the cake.” I don't know what that means.
9:20: Did Natalie Portman just mouth “fuck off” during her reaction shot? I think she did…
9:25: I haven’t seen either movie, but based on the trailer, The Chorus looks just like a remake of Mr. Holland’s Opus.
9:27: Speaking of looking like, with that long hair, Javier Bardem looks just like Eric Roberts.
9:28: Announcer: Will the Globe go to Sarah Jessica Parker, Debra Messing… or this bottle of champagne that the camera is focused on for some unknown reason?”
9:37: Arnie is here, hard at work running the biggest state in the country. Good work, governor. I knew Mary Carey should’ve won.
9:46: Oddest pairing of the night: Usher and Lisa Marie Presley. Actually, I guess it’s not that weird: she was married to Michael Jackson, and he wants to become MJ. In fact, isn’t his skin lighter than it was last week?
9:51: Looks like Dave Stewart stole James Worthy's goggles.
9:57: I’m glad Prince is getting so much love, but why isn’t he wearing one of his awesome purple suits?
10:01: Diane Keaton says, “Men remain the mystery of my life.” Yeah, that’s probably why you’re a closet lesbian.
10:03: Jamie Foxx must be the first Golden Globe winner to say “Don’t even trip” during his acceptance speech since John Wayne won for True Grit back in 1970.
10:13: Cecil B. DeMille Award to Robin Williams. Time for a nap.
10:23: Seeing as how there’s nothing interesting going on, I’ll list my 5 hottest women in the room (in no particular order): Charlize Theron, Diane Lane, Emmy Rossum, Halle Berry, and Teri Hatcher. Least attractive? Michael Imperionli’s goth-chick date.
10:31: The logo for The Aviator looks like the logo for the original Legend of Zelda Nintendo game.
10:34: Leo wins Best Actor, Drama. Monster upset. I’m shocked.
10:36: Leo urges people to contribute to the Tsunami disaster. What, they haven’t suffered enough? Are we supposed to travel to Amparai and knock down the 3 remaining houses?
10:41: Man, Patricia Arquette is getting saggy. Fortunately VH1 Classic plays the video for Dokken's "Dream Warriors" (the theme from Nightmare on Elm Street 3) once every few weeks, so I’ll be able to see her in her heyday.
10:48: Hilary Swank’s laugh is as awkward as her giant horse teeth.
10:53: During a promo for the 11:00 news, they ask, “Did an internet chat room lead to the death of a New Jersey family?” I would love to tune in and find out that the answer is "no, of course not."
10:56: With Sideways’ win, that means Eternal Sunshine has been shut out. Damn.
10:59: The Aviator wins Best Picture, Drama, another monster upset. It won 3 awards, the most of the night. I’m floored.
11:01: Nicole Kidman is wearing a peacock. I’m too bored from the past 3 hours to even make a joke about that. This sucks.