Back in the office after some fun in the sun in Cancun shooting MTV Spring Break. Here's some highlights and lowlights (at least ones that I can share in the public domain:

Cheers to Paris Hilton. After all she's been through, she still hasn't learned to wear panties, as I learned firsthand standing 3 feet from her when the wind blew her skirt up.

Jeers to the Presidente Intercontinental. First they give me 2 full-size beds instead of the King I requested. Then they try to charge me for a Spectravision movie I didn't order, making me fill out a form in which I had to write "I swear I did not order a movie during my stay." Then they accuse me of stealing from the mini-bar... the manager asked me if I'd taken anything from it, and after I said no, he cocked his eyebrow and accusingly repeated "Did you?" Anything to squeeze out a few extra pesos...

Cheers to Meat Juice. They serve it at an Argentinean steakhouse down there... it's basically a big bowl of au jus served as a soup course. Tasted damn good, but wreaked havoc on my stomach the next few days. It also led to my new nickname: Seymour Meatjuice. I like it.

Jeers to former Real World / Road Rules castmembers. Always looking for a few more seconds of fame (and free booze, of course), Randy, Katie, and The Miz crashed our wrap party. These RW/RR Challenges need to start including fights-to-the-death to start wiping the earth clean of their existence.

Jeers to drunken the 40-year-old woman trying to grind and look sexy in dance clubs surrounded by teenage Spring Breakers. The bouncers actually threw her out of the club because she was causing such a scene. "Ew" is all I can say.

Jeers to poorly-constructed donkey diapers. After finishing a shoot with a drunken Spring Breaker riding down the beach on the back of a donkey, the trainers loaded the animal onto the back of an SUV and drove away... that is, until the donkey's diaper flew off, spilling shit onto the cars and pavement behind. Our crew had to clean up the street.

Cheers to good luck. Arriving to the airport to check in to my return flight, the wait was at least 90-minutes long. Fortunately I wasn't checking any luggage and an American Airlines employee took me straight to the front of the line. Although I did unwisely choose to taunt my boss, still stuck in line, with an obnoxious wave. He will now make my life a living hell for the next few weeks.

Cheers to more good luck. After arriving back in the city, I went with a co-worker to dinner in my neighborhood. On the way back to my apartment, we passed a used bookstore with a paperback copy of "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" in the window... for $10! I've been trying to snag that book for years at a reasonable price, but no luck. What a deal!