Monday, November 13, 2006

Over the weekend I came home to find another message on my answering machine intended for Professor Brian Greene. Here it is:
Hello, I was trying to reach Brian Greene, high-energy physicist . My name is _____ and I’m in Oklahoma City. My number is _____. And I’ve derived an equation which involves the divergence of a field that is extremely strong coming from all directions, um, such that a blockage of that field in any way would totally destroy whatever was involved. Um, it has some potential, and I was wanting to run it by you and see if there was a group of people I could run it by. I’ve contacted Professor _____ not knowing that you were at Columbia as well. But just to get this out in a forum, because I’m saying some things that match up the forces, that this one field would explain a heck of a lot what’s going on. It’s not that your work is, uh, irrelevant; it’s just that, it’s subsumed by this field. And I just wanted to get in with a group of acadecmicians… acad… acadecmicians who would be able to discuss it without assuming it was wrong or without my putting it forth as right. I’m just more curious than anything. Um, I have a derivational paper, if you’re interested. Again, my number is _____. Thank you.
So let me get this straight... you want to see if he would be interested in meeting to discuss some crackpot theory that would render all of his years of work inconsequential? Especially with someone with such a poor grasp of vocabulary and sentence structure? No, I don't think he would be interested in that, thank you very much.


brotherjimmy said...

Please give me this douchebag's number, please.

walein said...

I've got some theories too. I didn't realize it was your number I should be of theories and stuff of high academicis importances.

Tommy Himself said...

Just let me talk to the fucking professor, please!