Overheard on Vacation

"Dong? Heh-heh, that sucks."
"I know, I get teased a lot."
- Security guard to passenger checking in at LaGuardia airport.

"Is that the Grand Canyon?"
- Kid asking his father, referring to the above mountain in Banff.

"If you don't complain, I'll give you a licorice. Okay, 2. Now shut up and don't complain."
- Grandfather trying to stop his grandkid from bitching about the rough terrain on a hike.

"It's a traditional Indian pale ale..."
- Jasper waitress at a bar, trying to describe a local beer to a French family that doesn't understand the words menu, beer, glass, or bottle.

"I don't want you spitting in my skillet."
"I can assure you we don't spit in anything. We're very clean."
- A customer and waitress at a Jasper diner, after the customer told her his breakfast order was cold but he didn't want a replacement.

"I mean there's gotta be, what, at least a million Starbucks."
- My sister in Seattle, estimating the number of locations worldwide.

P.S. I know I promised more photos today, but I lied... I'll try to get them up tonight or tomorrow.