Friday, April 13, 2007

Boo! My Nerdiest Post Ever
I've been in a list mood lately. So, in honor of today being Friday the 13th, here's my list of my 13 favorite horror movies. Note that these are not necessarily the scariest... just the ones I like best.
1) The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: The original, of course. This movie is just unrelenting and brutal. It hits you over the head (much like Leatherface does with a hammer to one of his victims).
2) American Psycho: Equal parts funny and chilling (although nowhere near as disgusting as the book). Plus it's filled with references to 80s music, so that's an added bonus. Oddly enough, I have a friend who went to UPenn with me. I made him watch this movie during our senior year. He became obsessed with it; rarely can we have a conversation without him quoting it. He's now an investment banker, well on his way to mirroring Patrick Bateman's lifestyle. Hopefully without the bloodshed and prostitutes.
3) Evil Dead: I think Evil Dead 2 might be more entertaining, but this one actually tried to be a true horror movie, not a comedy. Possibly the best student film ever made. And it introduced the world to Bruce Campbell, one of the most underrated actors of all time.
4) Dead-Alive (a.k.a. Braindead): Before Lord of the Rings, Peter Jackson was the king of splatter movies. Although I have no scientific data, I'm positive this movie has more blood (gallons and gallons of it) than any other ever made. It's also got cool Kiwi accents, and one of the best lines ever put on film: "I kick arse for the Lord!"
5) A Nightmare on Elm Street: Freddy was always my favorite movie monster... I guess because he had the most personality. This movie is dated, but if I ever come across it on TV, I will watch it to the end. And in case any of you are wondering (I'm sure you're not), I rank the Elm Street movies in this order: 1, 4, 7, 6*, 3, 2, 5. Don't even get me started on Freddy vs. Jason... I pretend that movie doesn't exist.
6) An American Werewolf in London: Is it a horror movie, or a parody of a horror movie? Whatever it is, I love it.
7) Hellraiser: This movie took gore to a whole new level. Few things are more disgusting than giant hooks sinking into human flesh and then retracting.
8) The Re-Animator: Any movie that features a disembodied head giving head to a naked woman tied to a table must be on this list.
9) Frankenstein: A classic. 'Nuff said.
10) Night of the Living Dead: So good, the Library of Congress put it in the National Film Registry. No real explanation as to why the zombies exist. And almost everyone, good and bad, ends up dead. Great gore effects for the late 1960s. Revolutionary.
11) Children of the Corn: I remember seeing the first few minutes of this movie on TV when I was about 5... the part where the kids murder all of the adults in the diner. It freaked me out for a long time. I haven't seen this movie in years, so I don't know if it has held up over time. But that scene sticks with me to this day.
12) The Descent: Most modern horror movies are either unnecessary remakes or just plain awful. Here's an exception. We can thank the Brits.
13) The Thing: For once, a remake that's better than the original. I hear they're about to remake it again, and I'm sure they'll muck it up.

13 Honorable Mentions: Alien, The Exorcist, Rosemary's Baby, The Birds, Dawn of the Dead, Halloween, Freaks, The Blob, Dead Ringers, Misery, Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, Audition (a.k.a. ƌdishon), The Hills Have Eyes (the original, of course).

* Note: When Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (a.k.a. Part 6) was released in theaters, the last 10 minutes was in 3D. My (underage) friends and I all went to the theater the opening Saturday, only to realize that if we snuck in, we wouldn't have the necessary 3D glasses. So we called our friend's mom, the only one cool enough to buy us tickets to an R-rated movie. By the time she arrived, other neighborhood kids had gotten wind of our plan, and she ended up buying over 30 tickets. Thanks again, Mrs. G!


Reel Fanatic said...

Great list .. My only adjustment would be to put Rosemary's Baby somewhere in the top 10, cause that movie just friggin creeps me out every time

Tommy Himself said...

Rosemary's Baby. Scariest film ever.

Brian said...

Hmm, maybe I should watch Rosemary's Baby again... haven't seen it in a few years.