Monday, April 16, 2007

An Open Letter to Dana Carvey
Dear Mr. Carvey,
I am writing in regards to your appearance on Friday's Real Time With Bill Maher. I have to say, I cannot remember a time when I had a greater desire to reach into my TV set and strangle somebody that I was watching. You were nothing but a nuisance, a pest, constantly interrupting an otherwise engaging conversation and debate.
Now I understand that you filled the roll of the "entertainer" on the panel. I also understand that you are a comedian. But your purpose on that show is not to tell jokes. It was to participate in a discussion on current events, injecting humor when possible and appropriate. D.L. Hughley appeared on the previous show... he didn't solely crack jokes the whole time. John Legend appeared on the episode before that... he certainly didn't sing the whole time. They arrived prepared and knowledgeable, ready to interact with the rest of the guests. All you did was stifle the flow of conversation and subvert attention to yourself, if not with awful jokes than with flailing body language and even repeated (and completely unwarranted) bows.
As for your material, what have you been doing for the past 15 years? Certainly not updating your act. Whipping out your tired impressions of Johnny Carson, George Bush Sr., and Woody Allen was just depressing. They also rarely tied in to what was actually being discussed. People who come to talk shows spouting prepared anecdotes usually bother me, but at least some of their stories are relevant. Can't say that for you. I'd also estimate that your "jokes" landed with a resounding thud about 75% of the time... even Maher, who I know is a big fan of yours, looked ready to stick a gag ball in your mouth.
Look Dana, I know that your time in the spotlight has virtually vanished, and maybe you felt that an appearance on a major cable show could revive your failing career. You just picked the wrong venue. I may have been a fan of your work on SNL, but those days are long gone. Maybe it's time you realized that.
Cheers,
Brian

5 comments:

brotherjimmy said...

Boom goes the dynamite!

Tommy Himself said...

Worst RTwBM guest ever.

For an American, he sure seems Canadian.

Dana Carvey said...

Oh, fuck you all. That was some weird and wild stuff. I did not know that.

Dana Carvey's Career said...

Gasp... choke choke... cough... gasp...

Diane said...

I know this is really dated, but I was telling someone the other day about the most surreal episode of Real Time ever, and trying to describe how bizarre that Dana Carvey appearance was. Then I decided to do a Google search and saw your post. All I can say is, Amen, brother! I really could not figure out what the hell was wrong with Dana Carvey. Had he never seen the show? Did he not have a clue as to what would go over well? And as I recall, one of the guests was Bill Bradley, who was trying to say something interesting a few times, but Carvey just completely destroyed the momentum of every conversation. Worst show ever!