I'm visiting my parents in Florida this weekend, which always leads to many memorable quotes... here are some favorites:
1) "Raise your hand if you want to go to Florida! (after 2 people raise their hands) If you don't raise your hand, you can just stay in New York... (2 more people raise their hand)" - Song Airline attendant.
2) "We board our passengers by zone, so check your seat assignment; your zone will be listed directly beneath your seat number. You ticket should say Zone 1-6. If it says 'end zone' or 'twilight zone,' you're on the wrong flight." - same Song attendant.
3) "Don't open the window... you'll freeze to death!" - my mother, to my sister during the car ride to dinner our first night; according to the car thermometer, the outside temperature was 78 degrees.
4) "Why do they itch?" - my mother, asking me about the members of G-Unit's affinity for grabbing their balls in their videos.
5) "Do you want to eat at my place? The last week of each month they serve the worst lunches... there's nothing there you would eat." - my grandmother, referring to the dining room at her assisted living complex when my sister and I asked her if she'd like to have lunch the following day.
6) "They don't know their ear from their A." - my grandmother, referring to the waiters at aforementioned dining room.
7) "What? His name is Chet Whosin?" - my mother, after I informed her that the subject of a photo in her Annie Leibovitz book was Trent Reznor.
8) "You know what you are? A pisser... when you go, do you make sure you get rid of it all? Do you know how to do it right? Do you need someone to teach you?" - my grandmother, grilling my sister on the proper urination methods due to my sister's habit of peeing approximately every 80 minutes.
Good times...