Tuesday, December 09, 2003

So people in Jersey are hunting bears? Personally, I'm with the protestors on this one... leave the bears alone. There's no need to shoot them. Maybe they could just create a Bear Patrol... or at least watch that episode of The Simpsons this great exchange:

[A full-force Bear Patrol is on watch. Homer watches proudly]
Homer: Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm.
Lisa: That's specious reasoning, Dad.
Homer: Thank you, dear.
Lisa: By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away.
Homer: How does it work?
Lisa: It doesn't work.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: It's just a stupid rock.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: But I don't see any tigers around, do you?
[Homer thinks of this, then pulls out some money]
Homer: Lisa, I want to buy your rock.
[Lisa refuses at first, then takes the exchange]
[The mail arrives]
Homer: Woo-hoo! A perfect day. Zero bears and one big fat hairy paycheck.
[opens it up]
Homer: Hey! How come my pay is so low? ... Bear patrol tax! This is an outrage! It's the biggest tax increase in history!
Lisa: Actually, Dad, it's the smallest tax increase in history.
Homer: Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax.
Lisa: That's home-owner tax.
Homer: Well, anyway, I'm still outraged.


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